


To The Moon

by divinelydecreed



Category: BLACKPINK (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, Chaesoo slowburn, F/F, sorry to say this but heavy angst yall
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-09
Updated: 2020-01-10
Packaged: 2020-02-28 22:09:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 34,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18765241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/divinelydecreed/pseuds/divinelydecreed
Summary: Jisoo and Chaeyoung are doctors from Sigmund Corp. a company that uses a technology to make artificial memories. They offer this as a "wish fulfillment" service to people who are on their death beds.Now, the two doctors are assigned to a patient named Lisa Manoban who only wishes to go the moon without her knowing the reason why.





	1. prologue

**Author's Note:**

> so, this actually came from a game, but I resonated with the story a lot because it was really touching and beautiful that I can't help but write it. I'll try my best to explain the game's mechanism throughout the story and hopefully, you'll be able to understand. 
> 
> Also, I'll be adding other scenarios I created and change some things a little.
> 
> I have a few other pending stories but I decided to write this one lol

It was around eight o' clock, it's already night time and just two more hours before they could go home, and the loud smashing of the keyboard ringing inside Chaeyoung's ears makes her blood boil even more. If the younger doctor were in a cartoon right now there would be smoke coming out of her ears already.

 

She has her head down on her own desk trying to get a much needed nap but Jisoo doesn't seem to notice that, or doesn't seem to care at all. The older girl is too engulfed at her computer to look at anything right now. Chaeyoung grits her teeth and starts to clench her fists, she jerks her head up to glare at Jisoo.

 

"Can you tone it down a bit?" Chaeyoung frustratedly seethes at the woman who's currently giving her a migraine.

 

Jisoo only gives her a once-over, her gaze immediately averting back to her laptop. "I can't! I have to defeat this son-of-a-bitch boss that I've been trying to kill for an hour now!" Jisoo shouts back, her face contorting into a frown as she concentrates.

 

This only makes Chaeyoung want to wrath more. "I don't care! I'm trying to get some sleep here!"

 

"Then sleep, no one's stopping you." Jisoo replies back, furiously smashing the keys, doing all sorts of combos to win the boss battle. Unfortunately, she still lost. "Ugh! I hate this game!" She shouts as she smashes her keyboard.

 

"You're the one who's stopping me!" Chaeyoung groans.

 

Jisoo slumped defeatedly on her chair, a frown on her face. "You're the reason why I lost."

 

"Stop being an insensitive twat for once, Jisoo. This is why our workmates either dislike you or intimidated at you." Chaeyoung tells her. She feels like a jar that's about to overflow right now. All the stress and frustration from work is already killing her and Jisoo isn't even helping at all. "And aren't you supposed to be doing your report instead of playing some stupid game?" 

 

"Blah, blah, blah." Jisoo makes a mocking face and Chaeyoung wants to punch her even more. "If they hate me then so be it, not everyone will like you anyway." She rolls her eyes, she doesn't have to be reminded all the damn time that she's loathed in her workplace. "And can a girl have a little bit of fun? I'm tired from all this butt load of shit sitting prettily on my desk." Jisoo scoffs and points at the stacked papers beside her.

 

"Sometimes, oh wait- most of the time, I regret agreeing to be your partner." Chaeyoung exasperatedly shouts.

 

"You aren't the only one then." Jisoo muttered sourly.

 

Chaeyoung only rolls her eyes and went back to take a nap. A devilish smile made its way to Jisoo's lips, she clicks 'revive' and starts to smash the keys jarringly. Chaeyoung's head quickly shot up, seeing that annoying grin Jisoo has was way out of line. She picks up the nearest thing, which is a notebook, and used it as a projectile to throw at the other doctor. The notebook didn't hit the older woman, but it almost did, startling Jisoo.

 

"Hey, that was way out of line-" before Jisoo could finish what she was about to say another notebook was thrown at her but this time it hit her in the face.

 

"bullseye!" Chaeyoung cheers and starts laughing like a maniac.

 

"Oh, so you're gonna play like that huh," Jisoo sneers to herself, she gazes at the paperwork stacked on her desk and impulsively picks them up and starts launching them at Chaeyoung. "two can play that game!" Jisoo shouts.

 

And chaos ensued inside their office.

 

Chaeyoung was about to hurl her own chair at Jisoo until a man's voice echoed inside the room through the speakers hanging on the corners of their office room. "Kim Jisoo, Park Chaeyoung." The two women stopped what they're doing, Chaeyoung putting her chair down while Jisoo picked up her paperwork that's spread all over the floor.

 

"You two are assigned to this client named Lisa Manoban," the disembodied voice of the company's leader announces.

 

"I hope her wish would be easy." Jisoo comments, bent down and still picking the papers splayed on the floor. "I don't want to get attached to another client again," she adds quietly, plopping on her chair lazily.

 

Chaeyoung still heard her, though. Giving the other doctor a knowing glance. Chaeyoung remembers  _that_  client they had, remembers how Jisoo got attached. Remembers Jisoo crying in the car when they finished their mission.

 

"and your mission will start tomorrow. You need to leave around four and get there by seven." he lastly adds and turns off the mic.

 

"What that fast? We haven't even studied and analyzed her documents." Chaeyoung whines, exasperatedly throwing her head at the headrest of her chair.

 

"We'll just read it on the car," Jisoo suggests, shrugging her shoulders nonchalantly.

 

"But, it makes me dizzy." Chaeyoung counters. Jisoo only rolls her eyes at the latter's reason.

 

An email notification popped up on Chaeyoung's laptop screen. "Oh, I already received her documents." she skims through the paragraphs.

 

"what's her story or whatever?" Jisoo uninterestedly asks, fixing and sequencing her paperwork to the way it used to be.

 

"Well, first of, her name's Lisa Manoban-" Chaeyoung starts.

 

"I think I already knew that," Jisoo sarcastically says making the latter groan in annoyance.

 

"and she's been a photographer most of her life, actually she's quite well-known in that field," Chaeyoung was once stopped again by Jisoo.

 

"Good for her. I'd bet she's like one of those edgy photographers that take pictures of a fallen branch and names it 'the fall of youth' or something." Jisoo comically jokes and laughs all to herself.

 

"can you stop cutting me off and listen?" Chaeyoung massages her temple, trying to calm herself. "and that's so specific. Maybe you're the one who does that."

 

"wait, you're much of an airhead to name a photo something poetic or clever." it was now Chaeyoung's turn to laugh.

 

Jisoo looks at her, obviously offended. "excuse me?" she scoffs. "I'm actually a clever and creative person as I say so myself."

 

"you seem to be the only one that sees that." the blonde chuckles.

 

"Because you don't even try to really look at me, Chaeng." then the atmosphere of their office shifts into an awkward and angsty one. There was an awkward pause, when Jisoo realized how she sounded. The two doctors just stared at each other, not saying anything until Chaeyoung averts her eyes and goes back to reading the documents.

 

"uhm... so she has a heart disease and it's not getting any better as time goes by." Chaeyoung quickly changes the topic and Jisoo sighs heavily.

 

"She's already in her 70s, lives in a cliff near the sea and she's married." Chaeyoung briefly pauses, reading other important information written on the document. "She's married to Jennie Kim."

 

"Is that her real name? Jennie?" Jisoo questions. "Isn't she Korean?"

 

"Yep, that's her real name. Actually, it's Jennie Ruby Jane."

 

"Weird. Her name's already in English" Jisoo comments.

 

"But three years ago, her wife passed away. And they didn't have kids." Chaeyoung's voice was so faint Jisoo could barely hear her.

 

"We'll be seeing Jennie a lot in Lisa's memories then.  We could even interact with her." Jisoo says, writing all the information in her journal.

 

"We'll only interact with her if it's necessary."

 

"Ya know, entering a person's mind is weird. And we're also disturbing their privacy." Jisoo states, pointing her pen at the latter.

 

"But, it's our job, though..." Chaeyoung trails off.

 

"So, what's our geezer's wish?" Jisoo asks, getting to the point.

 

"Her wish..." Chaeyoung's voice hangs in the air.

 

Jisoo waits for the answer instead of reading the document in her laptop. She'd rather listen to Chaeyoung than read.

 

(or she's just really lazy, is all.)

 

"she wishes to go to the moon," Chaeyoung finally tells her.

 

"why?" she asks again.

 

"here's the catch. She has no idea." Chaeyoung adds, reading the paragraph again to see if there's more information about their client’s wish and unfortunately there isn't.

 

"well fuck, this would be hard," Jisoo mutters. Looking at the big shining orb hung in the sky outside of their window.

 

Lisa's wish seems so bizarre and dreamlike. It was something out of the ordinary men and women normally wished for. Jisoo thinks it'll take her a while to forget about this wish.


	2. chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if there are any typos. Kinda got lazy to proofread them lmao

A lonely car made its way down to an equally lonely and empty road. An hour ago, both of the doctors left the metropolis bigger than their lives. Leaving the bright artificial lights every building has, also leaving the bustling and busy crowds. Now, they're headed to somewhere (or nowhere, Jisoo thinks) where the scenery is the polar opposite of the scenery they got accustomed to ever since they started working for Sigmund for almost three years.

 

Jisoo is in the driver's seat while her partner, Chaeyoung, peacefully looks out the window. They're both wearing their white lab coat over their uniform, which is just a white-colored shirt with the company's logo patched on the right side of the chest area and their usual black slacks.

 

"You know I don't know what to expect with this new client of ours." Chaeyoung says, her eyes fixated outside. She has her window rolled down, admiring the rolling sceneries flashing before her eyes; A steel railing separating the road from the woods,the sound of the waves breaking, the sight of dozens of tree peacefully dancing with the wind, the air wasn't polluted and the sky was starting to be filled with stars.

 

The sight makes Chaeyoung smile. It's been a while since she saw something so green and serene like this. The buzzing and hectic city took a toll in her system a little too much.

 

Jisoo just keeps her eyes on the road, her hands tightly grasping the wheel and driving carefully while Chaeyoung holds a folder full of documents as if it was her childhood stuffed-toy. 

 

Jisoo nodded at the other doctor's statement. "Yeah, it's hard to expect something from someone that doesn't even know the goddamn reason why they want that to go the moon in the first place."

 

"I bet she's a little bit cuckoo in the head," Jisoo snorts, she sees Chaeyoung roll her eyes in her peripheral view. "Ya know, if you keep rolling your eyes your eyeballs would fall out of your sockets," she teases.

 

"I wouldn't mind if it means I won't get to see your face anymore." Chaeyoung answers back making Jisoo shut her mouth.

 

"Touché, miss Roseanne." Jisoo quietly mutters. A small smile forms on her lips.

 

After their petty bickering, Jisoo continued driving to god knows where while Chaeyoung took a quick nap. Jisoo wonders how exactly far their client's house is. This was the first time in her two (almost three) years of working in Sigmund to receive a job from such an isolated location.

 

The ride was taking forever, the road seemed so long in front of her, and it's making Jisoo quite frustrated. "What the hell? Where is her house? The GPS says it's only a two-hour trip but it's been almost three hours already." Jisoo grunts. Chaeyoung shuffles in her seat and her eyes slowly flutter open. They left the company at four o' clock in the afternoon and it's almost seven and they're not still there. Jisoo's the one who decided to leave early so they can arrive at their client's house as early as possible and finish their job without getting too late.

 

"How was the sleep?" Jisoo asks softly, giving the latter a once-over.

 

"It's good. You weren't noisy." Chaeyoung smiles sleepily. "Anyway, are we there yet? It's taking quite long."

 

"Uh, I actually don't know. I think we're lost?" Jisoo laughs it off, but deep inside she's anxious.

 

"What do you mean lost?" Chaeyoung asks, both confused and enraged. She checks the GPS and facepalms. Finding out that Jisoo might've turned it off or something.

 

"Your GPS is turned off." The blonde scoffs.

 

"I didn't turn it off, though." Jisoo counters. "Wait... I forgot. My GPS is going nuts since I accidentally hit it with a hammer last two weeks ago and I haven't been able to fix it since." She adds sheepishly.

 

"Ugh! Kim Jisoo!" Chaeyoung groans, bumping her head lightly on the window.

 

"I'm sorry!" Jisoo shouts, turning on the GPS hastily.

 

"Looks like I took the wrong road that's why it's been taking us a little bit too long." Jisoo embarrassingly chirps out.

 

"Let me just-" Jisoo comments swiveling the wheel and taking a turn, going back to the right direction.

 

"You piss me off a lot." Chaeyoung sighs.

 

"I know." The latter smiles.

 

* * *

 

"And now we're taking a turn again." Jisoo comments. Steering the wheel to the right. Taking a turn toward the woods where, unfortunately, the house of their client is located. Chaeyoung rolls her eyes at Jisoo's useless commentary, it feels like she's listening to the news of politicians being corrupt again.

 

"Is that a squirrel?" Chaeyoung asks herself, squinting at the moving thing she can't quite perceive.

 

"Holy fu-" Jisoo screams, quickly steering the wheel of the car causing them to crash to a perfectly big tree.

 

"Oh my god..." Chaeyoung chirps, still frightened in her seat. "Where were you looking, Jisoo!" she slaps the latter's arm.

 

"Well, excuse me for heroically saving that squirrel." Jisoo replies, crossing her arms as if it'll convince the other doctor about her being a good Samaritan.

 

Chaeyoung only slaps Jisoo's arm a couple of times. "Hey, hey, quit it." Jisoo frowns, swatting Chaeyoung's hands away.

 

Jisoo opens the door with little difficulty forcing her to kick the door open, while Chaeyoung perfectly exits the car without any difficulty, unlike her partner.

 

"you're a smart technician but you don't use your brain that well," Chaeyoung comments as she closes the passenger door.

 

"I'm just gonna ignore the part where you say I don't use my brain that well. But, I already know that I'm a smart technician, no need to remind me." Jisoo says, a taunting grin on her face. 

 

Chaeyoung badly wants to wipe that cocky and annoying grin from her face whenever she gets too conceited.

 

They walked toward the hood of the car to check on it and it's worse than they imagined.

 

"you literally crashed the whole front of the car..." Chaeyoung scowls at the other doctor.

 

"at least... I didn't crash the whole car. Or else we would be dead by now." Jisoo remarks. "and on second thought, being dead isn't so bad." Chaeyoung helplessly released a heavy and tired sigh, she couldn't believe herself that she still has the audacity to work with her.

 

They went to the trunk of the car and the smell of roadkill instantly fills their nostrils.

 

"You still ran over the squirrel, idiot." Chaeyoung states snappily, pointing at the dead creature.

 

Jisoo grimaces at the sight of its guts spilled out. "Uhm, anyways..." Jisoo starts, dismissing the topic.

 

"The boss is gonna kill us..." Jisoo gulps heavily, scratching the nape of her neck.

 

"What do you mean 'us'? Only you," the blonde laughs, pointing at Jisoo with a derisive smirk shaped on her lips.

 

"The teamwork left the group chat," Jisoo jested making Chaeyoung laugh more.

 

"You should get the equipment from the car already and let's get this over with," Chaeyoung tells her, opening the trunk and taking out the heavy metal case.

 

"Yep, we should get over me crashing the car too." 

 

Chaeyoung looks at her, "you're still dead, though."

 

"I suddenly can't hear." Jisoo dismisses the topic quickly. Chaeyoung laughs at the older girl's capricious yet ridiculous nature.

 

"Okay, I got the sucker." Jisoo announces while holding the case where the equipment is. "why is it me that gets to carry this heavy thing?" Jisoo questions.

 

"because you crashed the car, idiot." Chaeyoung answers back with a winning smile.

 

"Ugh," Jisoo whines as she starts to head toward their destination. "Let's roll!" she adds with fake enthusiasm, while Chaeyoung trails behind her.

 

They followed the trail that will hopefully lead them to their client's house.

 

* * *

 

They continued to walk the path. Jisoo's silent, she's normally not like this which makes Chaeyoung confused.

 

"Hey, you're spacing out..." Chaeyoung gently points out.

 

Jisoo immediately shakes her head, fleeing from her deep thoughts. "not really," she quickly denies.

 

"Uh, yeah you are." Her partner counters light-heartedly. "we usually get into petty fights, but you do know that I do care about you, right?"

 

"Wow, Chaeyoung caring for me? that's unusual." Jisoo teases, her laugh genuine this time and not the usual sarcastic one.

 

"so, what's bothering you?" Chaeyoung questions.

 

"you know, we've been doing this job for almost three years. But it's still weird." Jisoo replies honestly.

 

"what's weird about our job?" Chaeyoung asks. Staring at Jisoo's back, her partner never giving her a spare glance. Chaeyoung assumes Jisoo's scared of vulnerability, something she noticed about her partner ever since. "we're helping people, Chu."

 

"it's weird we're fulfilling wishes," Jisoo pauses momentarily. "made up with artificial memories."

 

Chaeyoung hears a sound of emptiness in them, something she barely gets to hear. Jisoo was usually sarcastic and a pain in the ass, but whenever she shows her vulnerability it's easy to perceive that Jisoo always had a soft heart. Something she once saw when she got attached to a patient, a little girl with cancer who only wishes to live longer than the time the world gave her.

 

"I mean, in the end, the wishes never really came true, don't they? They're just made up by some technology with the help of doctors." Jisoo pauses, and gestures at the case she's carrying.

 

"They're more like a reverie than a reality." Jisoo adds.

 

"The company might kick you out when they hear you say this than crashing the car." Chaeyoung tries to lighten up the mood. 

 

"I know," Jisoo says, her voice quiet. Chaeyoung knew it was the end of the conversation.

 

Chaeyoung couldn't blame Jisoo's doubtfulness. Hell, she even has her own doubts too, in the back of her mind. I mean, who would've thought that something as conceptual and abstract as memories could be created and manipulated by technology. It seemed so impossible back in the day, but now, they're working for a huge company who literally became well-known because of that.

 

Chaeyoung thought it was happy and fulfilling at first. But just like any other job, she realized it wasn't after working for the company in a few years. She knew Jisoo wasn't quite happy with it even in the beginning.

 

"they're always gonna be artificial. giving our clients the false belief that they lived their life to fullest..." Jisoo spoke again.

 

"Even if they did not." Chaeyoung could only stay silent, she's loyal to her job, but she can't really deny the truth.

 

* * *

 

"Hey, I can see the house now." Jisoo shares. "And it's  _big."_

 

"Yeah, it really is." Chaeyoung lets out a breath of amazement.

 

They already crossed the open fence in front, the smell of roadkill was instantly replaced by the fresh smell of flowers and other plants filled their noses. They walked toward the front door, the younger doctor knocking softly on the door.

 

Chaeyoung analyzes the architecture of the house and it amazes her. The house is a big old-fashioned cottage made from bricks, it's been a while since Chaeyoung saw a house like this.

 

Chaeyoung knocks on the door again and still waits for a response. Jisoo puts down the case, attempting to get her breath back.

 

"Not a bad place to retire, huh?" Chaeyoung states. Still enamored by the place.

 

"Eh, I could do better." Jisoo's ego spoke.  _Now she's back being a pain in the ass_ , Chaeyoung could only shake her head for the nth time.

 

"As if," the younger doctor sniffles. Jisoo only rolls her eyes at the latter.

 

"So, this will probably be another all-nighter." Jisoo changes the topic, stretching her back from carrying that damn heavy luggage.

 

"Yeah, it probably will be." her partner shrugs.

 

"Nightshifts; love 'em or hate 'em." Jisoo comments.

 

The door finally opens, revealing a woman in her late 20s or early 30s. The two doctors couldn't really tell, she still looked youthful and beautiful. It could be her environment, who knows.

 

"You must be the people from Sigmund Corp?" She asks nicely. The corner of her lips tugging into a sweet and welcoming smile.

 

"Yes, we are, ma'am." Chaeyoung smiles.

 

"Come in." The woman steps aside, welcoming the two doctors inside.

 

"Thank you," Chaeyoung and Jisoo said in unison, bowing their heads mannerly.

 

"Welcome," the woman replies, also bowing.

 

Both doctors made their way inside, but before Jisoo had the chance to step inside Chaeyoung tells her "don't forget the equipment", Jisoo stops in her tracks and grunts, going back to retrieve the case she left outside.

 

"I don't get paid enough for this," Jisoo complains, lifting up the equipment and bringing it inside.

 

Once they were all inside Jisoo closes the door with her foot, setting down the heavy equipment for a while. The minute Jisoo and Chaeyoung entered the house, their cold bodies were instantly filled with warmth, the blaze and steady fire of the chimney was the one giving them warmth.

 

"Chaeng, look an authentic fireplace!" Jisoo whisper-shouts near Chaeyoung, pointing at the fireplace that was located at the far end of the living room.

 

They observed and admired the place for a quick moment. The living room was cozy and tranquil. In front of the fireplace were brown couches that looks so comfortable and a coffee table in the middle. At the corner of the fireplace is a tall grandfather clock that seemed so ancient.

 

"I forgot to introduce my name. My name is Lily." The woman, Lily, informs them.

 

"I'm Dr. Park Chaeyoung." Chaeyoung smiles. "And this is Dr. Kim Jisoo." She points at Jisoo. Still tired from the lifting, Jisoo only wheezes in response.

 

"Thank you very much for coming in such short notice." Lily tells them, her voice filled with gratitude.

 

"No, problem." Chaeyoung replies kindly.

 

"That's okay, I tend to be bad at predicting deaths as well." Jisoo replies nonchalantly, causing Chaeyoung to nudge her a little bit forcefully on the side.

 

"Stop hitting me. You've been doing that ever since the car ride." Jisoo hisses near Chaeyoung's ears.

 

Chaeyoung pushes Jisoo's face aside, completely unbothered. "Who might you be? Lisa’s documents said she didn’t had a child." Chaeyoung asks.

 

"I'm actually her caretaker." The woman replies. Then two children, a boy and a girl, suddenly runs downstairs and loud screeches and yells enveloped the quiet ambiance of the house. The kids quickly run toward the dining room. "And those are my children, Miyoung and Jaehyun." The mother sighs heavily at her two kids rowdy behavior.

 

"It's not exactly a nine-to-five job. so, Lisa lets us live here." Lily adds.

 

"Uhm, so where is this Lisa?" Jisoo asks, already bored, wanting to just get everything done as quickly as possible.

 

"She's upstairs right now. And her medical doctor is with her. Come with me." Lily tells them and went upstairs, the two doctors trailed behind the woman.

 

Jisoo was about to take a step on the wooden stairs until Chaeyoung halted her. "You forgot the case."

 

Jisoo groans, "when my back breaks one day I'll sue you." Chaeyoung only ignores her and continued to follow Lily. Jisoo went back to retrieve the heavy case, struggling a little bit then she finally headed upstairs.

 

"Are they gone now?" Miyoung asks, peeking at the surroundings. She's hiding behind the doorframe of the dining room.

 

"Yeah, I think they are," Jaehyun replies lowly as if they're spies.

 

The two kids then raced toward the piano that's situated on the living room. Miyoung was taking the lead but her brother pushed her, causing Jaehyun to sit on the piano seat first.

 

"Hey, no fair!" Miyoung lightly shoved her brother when she takes her seat.

 

"I still won." Jaehyun sticks his tongue out, a teasing grin on his face.

 

"Ugh, whatever, you get to play two boring notes anyway." The girl counters.

 

Miyoung played the keys first, Jaehyun then followed. Their fingers moved together in harmony creating a dulcet melody that filled the living room.

 

The two doctors were now on the second floor of the house, it revealed a small hallway. There are two doors one of them is slightly opened. They assumed that's their client's room.

 

"Those kids are pretty good for their age, don't you think?" Jisoo asks, hearing the beautiful yet heartbreaking melody upstairs.

 

"You said you want to get over this as quickly as possible." Chaeyoung objected, arching a brow at the latter.

 

"I'm just saying, alright? You barely get to hear kids play the piano or something. They're usually too engrossed with technology and social media." Jisoo protested. "I'm just sayin' the things we barely got to see. And incidentally, I'm the one who's carrying the weight of a small meteoroid."

 

"yeah, yeah, let's get going now." Chaeyoung dismissively waves her hands and continues to move forward.

 

They walked inside their client's room. It was certainly big, it's like three rooms could fit here. "everything's so huge in this house, Jesus." Jisoo mutters under her breath.

 

"Here are the doctors from Sigmund Corp." Lily gestures at the two doctors. Chaeyoung bows her head kindly while Jisoo points a finger gun and winks.

 

"Hi, I'm Dr. Son Seungwan. But I'm usually addressed as Dr. Wendy. And I'm the patient's doctor." The other doctor introduces herself.

 

Being in Sigmund Corp. for a couple of years already got them accustomed to the sound of a cardiac monitor greeting them everytime they first meet their new client.

 

"Chaeng, she has a stage name. You should use yours too, Dr. Roseanne." Jisoo playfully nudges her partner but she only received a flick on the forehead. Wendy tries to suppress her laughter from coming out.

 

"So, how is she holding up? And how long has she been unconscious?" Chaeyoung asks. Her voice is soft as if she's on thin ice. This is the tone that Chaeyoung usually uses when talking to other people that is not Jisoo. Which sucks a little bit, since Jisoo really wants to experience the sensitivity and softness of her partner, but she knows it's her fault why Chaeyoung is the way she is with her. Jisoo does admit she goes a little too far.

 

"She was just teaching the kids another music to play on the piano, then the kids left for their snacks. Then she went outside to sit on the bench near the cliff, which is behind the house. But, when I came to announce that dinner is ready she's already lying down and unconscious. " Lily explains. Chaeyoung can tell that she's still grief-stricken at the sight of Lisa.

 

"She went to her weekly check-ups and she was fine a few months ago but then her illness suddenly came back and I never expected something like that to happen. She's a strong one if I'm being honest." Wendy explains, checking the papers in her clipboard. She looks up at the two doctors. "She's still holding on. And I think..." Wendy pauses, stealing a glance from her patient's serene face. "She could still hold on until the afternoon."

 

The two doctors nod. "That's enough time, right?" Jisoo asks her partner.

 

"Yeah... I think so." Chaeyoung replies, her face unreadable.

 

"Anyway, here." Wendy gives the Sigmund doctors a portable heart monitor. "I know you'll need that. It'll keep you updated on Lisa's condition."

 

"Thank you," Chaeyoung replies. Her eyes glued to the line curving and moving continuously in steady patterns. Her eyes are cloudy, thinking that hours from now, the line would completely stop, announcing their client's death.

 

Chaeyoung takes a look at Lisa Manoban. Her eyes are closed and she's peaceful, but she can see the exhaustion in her features—Chaeyoung thinks life has been a little too rough on her.

 

Chaeyoung's eyes then darted to the various hospital equipment that she thinks she'll never get used to. Which is ironic because she's a doctor herself.

 

She averts her eyes from the pieces of equipment and diverts her eyes to the sight of the room. The room was certainly huge. The king size bed is located near the window, so she can overlook the beautiful sight outside. At the corner of the room, there was a huge wardrobe and a wooden table, there were also shelves hanging on the walls where Lisa's cameras are neatly placed.

 

The room was comfortable and cozy— but that wasn't the feeling Chaeyoung supposed to feel right now.

 

The beeping sound of the cardiac monitor snaps her out.

 

"Lisa's a photographer but there's barely pictures in her house." Jisoo whispers to Chaeyoung.

 

"I noticed that too," Chaeyoung replies back. She starts to wonder why.

 

 "Ready for setup?" Lily asks.

 

"yep, just give us a moment to deal with this." Chaeyoung answers, taking the luggage from Jisoo's feeble grasp.

 

"I'm free!" Jisoo announces, holding her hands up in the air. Feeling the strength of her arms coming back. Lily and their client's doctor looks at her weirdly.

 

"please, shut up." Chaeyoung hides her face in her hand, feeling the second-hand embarrassment.

 

Chaeyoung sets down the case carefully, opening it and the infamous Sigmund Corp. machine was revealed. The luggage consists of a complex, large rectangle-shaped chunk of metal and three sleek and glossy gray helmets made out of iron and a line of LED lights perfectly positioned around the helmet, one for the patient and the other two for Jisoo and Chaeyoung.

 

Chaeyoung takes out the rectangular-shaped metal and placed it on the table Jisoo pulled from the corner of the room. Jisoo opens the machine (since she's the technician and the programmer and knows more about the machine) and a few seconds later the machine unfolds and a hologram with three screens (one in the middle, and two on the side) appears. The middle one is for the activating the memory traversal, the hologram on the left side is for the patient's information, such as their brain activity and condition; and the hologram on the right side is for the patient's memory timeline from their oldest age to their youngest age.

 

Lily watches in amazement as the machine unfolds. "Are you sure a common household power supply is sufficient?"

 

Jisoo cracks her fingers first before she proceeds to sit down in front of the device. "no worries, we're the experts." Jisoo cockily but jokingly replies, pointing at herself with a grin on her face. Then the lights start to flicker but it eventually came back to normal after a few seconds.

 

"Uhm, that's just the standard procedures. Just keeping you on your toes." Jisoo confidently tells the woman, hoping it would hide her embarrassment at the simple malfunction.

 

"So... you two can grant her any wish?" Lily asks curiously. Chaeyoung can already tell the confusion in her voice.

 

"To try, at least..." Chaeyoung replies, there's a bit of hesitation.

 

"But we always succeed, cause we're  _experts._ " Jisoo butts in with that permanent cocky grin of hers that Chaeyoung wants to kick from her face.

 

"So... her wish is to really go to the moon?" Chaeyoung asks.

 

"Yeah," Lily nods her head.

 

"Do you know the reason?" Chaeyoung pries, she's been dying to know the reason ever since they got the documents.

 

"Lisa doesn't even know the reason either. She just really wants to go to the moon." Lily replies dejectedly. That's all the answer she could give.

 

Chaeyoung breathes out defeatedly, "I guess we really have to figure out ourselves."

 

"Told ya, she's cuckoo in the head," Jisoo shrugs.

 

"Can you really do it? Like grant her wish?"

 

"It depends..." Chaeyoung trails off. Answers were never really certain.

 

"She meant to say 'yes'," Jisoo chimes in.

 

"Can you tell us about our client?" Chaeyoung asks the woman in front of her.

 

It was standard procedure to ask the people closest to their clients. There could be other answers that could provide any key information about their client. Of course, it's a given they could ask the patient themselves in their memories, but another person's perspective could be just as important.

 

"That... I don't really know much. You see, she's a nice person but she's always been quiet. She rarely spoke for the last two years I've worked here. I think, I only heard her whenever she talks to the kids." Lily tells them what she knows.

 

"She's been a photographer most of her life. And her wife passed away three years ago." The woman adds. "I don't really know many details... I'm sorry."

 

"If we're already in her brain, I would flick her on the forehead. She's giving us a hard time." Jisoo complains, slouching in her seat.

 

"Shush, do your thing." Chaeyoung scolds. Jisoo mimics her partner mockingly and continues to do her technician business.

 

"You could look around the house to find some info." Lily suggested. "I suppose Lisa wouldn't mind. I mean, she did sign up for you two."

 

Chaeyoung nods her head and walks to Jisoo's direction. "So, which one of us plays detective?"

 

Jisoo looks up at her, "I'll go instead. It'll be useless if we play rock, paper, and scissors. You only use paper." Jisoo grins playfully.

 

"No, I don't." The latter counters, crossing her arms.

 

"Yeah, you do." Jisoo shakes her head and stands up from her seat. "Later, losers" Jisoo waves her hand and heads downstairs.

 

"As if she's not a loser herself," Chaeyoung mutters under her breath.

 

"You two are something." Wendy chuckles at their dynamic.

 

"Tell me about it," Chaeyoung good-naturedly rolls her eyes.

 

"You're like the enemies to lovers troupe." Wendy teases. A red hue suddenly started to form on Chaeyoung's cheek and she can feel her ears heat up.

 

"Y-you know what? Focus on Lisa" she stutters, pointing at the sleeping woman on the bed. Wendy gives her a knowing glance and goes back to check up on Lisa.

 

"Unbelievable," Chaeyoung mutters under her breath. That weird flustered feeling creeping up to her.

 

Before Jisoo decided to head downstairs she went to check the other room, unfortunately, it's locked. "hmm, wonder why?" Jisoo mutters under her breath.

 

She trudges downstair and sees Miyoung and Jaehyun still playing music on the piano.

 

"Hey, little ones!" Jisoo announces. Leaning on the piano with that confident grin on her face.

 

"Look, it's Dr. beautiful." The little girl, Miyoung, whisper-yells. Both of the kids stop pressing the keys.

 

Jisoo smiles smugly "well, thank you, Miyoung."

 

"You're not supposed to hear that," Jaehyun comments, Jisoo only shrugs.

 

"What do you want?" Miyoung asks, looking at Jisoo with a sweet smile.

 

"Your ma told you to show me around the house." Jisoo replies.

 

"Maybe we could..." Miyoung gives her brother a mischievous glance which her brother smiles back.

 

"What do you mean, 'maybe'?" Jisoo asks, arching an eyebrow.

 

"You may be pretty but we need convincing," Miyoung tells her.

 

"Okay, what is it?" Jisoo asks, already giving in. She always had a soft spot for children.

 

"Can you get the candy canes ma hides from the top shelf in the kitchen? We can't reach it. Apparently, we're too small." Jaehyun pouts. His lips jutting cutely and Jisoo eventually and unsurprisingly gives in.

 

"Okay, let's go!" Jisoo takes both of the children's little hands and pulls them with her, the children happily obliged. "But don't be snitches, alright?" Jisoo smiles.

 

"We won't," the children said in unison. Jaehyun crossing at his chest while Miyoung covers her mouth.

 

Jisoo and the two kids walks inside the kitchen. Miyoung points at a specific shelf and Jisoo carefully steps on the kitchen counter and successfully takes out two candy canes from the shelf.

 

"Here you go," Jisoo hands the candies to the giddy kids.

 

"Thank you, Dr. beautiful!" Miyoung squeals, hugging the candy next to her.

 

"Just call me Jisoo-unnie instead." she winks at them.

 

"So, show me around," Jisoo says and the kids nodded. Trailing off the kitchen while Jisoo follows them.

 

"The doctor you're with is beautiful too." Jaehyun blurts out.

 

"Yeah, I know," Jisoo smiles softly, agreeing with the little boy's statement. "She may be mean most of the time but she's amazing. You'd love her." Jisoo assures them, ruffling the children's hair.

 

"Is she your girlfriend?" Miyoung asks. Jisoo chokes on thin air as she hears the question.

 

Jisoo gulps, "I could only wish, little rascals." 

 

The two children leads her to a room, Jisoo assumes this is Lisa's office. She looks around, seeing two bookshelves near each other, a tall lamp at the corner of the room, a desk and a little sofa on the middle and there's this easel near the plant. She sees a picture of a beautiful woman on the wall.

 

"Who's that?" Jisoo points at the picture frame.

 

"I think that was her wife." Miyoung assumes.

 

"Our geezer has taste." Jisoo states and the two kids agree with a nod of their heads.

 

"The key is in the thickest book on the upper shelf," Miyoung informs the older girl.

 

Jisoo trudges to the bookshelf Miyoung was pointing at and starts her search. It took her a few moments to find the thickest book.

 

"Oh, Twilight..." Jisoo snorts. "At least, Lisa has some sense of humor."

 

They exit the office, heading to the basement. Jisoo takes careful steps, the room was dark and dim. Gladly, Jaehyun turns on the light.

 

"So, this is where we start?" Jisoo asks, grimacing at the creepy wide basement.

 

"Yeah, there's this funny room here," Jaehyun says.

 

"What do you mean?" Jisoo asks, completely puzzled.

 

"You'll see," Jaehyun shrugs and pulls Jisoo near a door.

 

"You rascals are creeping me out," Jisoo utters. She puts the key inside the knob and unlocks it, she opens the door and the room is dark.

 

"It's like a cave here, jeez." Jisoo murmurs, looking for the light switch. She feels something and immediately presses it, the lights quickly turned on. She was met by a strange sight.

 

There were dozens of paper rabbits splayed out on the room. On the table and on the floor. And there's this weird looking stuffed toy, a platypus,  sitting on a lonely chair in the room.

 

"What a hideous little creature." She pokes the worn-out stuffed-toy. It seems older than her. She still takes it, it could be something important to their patient.

 

"Did you see it? The weird bunnies?" Miyoung asks.

 

"Yeah, I did." Jisoo nods her head, closing the door behind her.

 

"Do you know anything about them?" Jisoo asks. The two children only shook their heads. Jisoo heaves out a breath, Lisa's being a pain in the ass right now.

 

"Lisa didn't want us to go inside. So, we never told her." Jaehyun utters.

 

"You are such mischievous little rascals aren't you?" Jisoo snorts.

 

"Ugh, you even took the hideous creature with you." Jaehyun grimaces at the stuffed toy.

 

"Yeah, but it could be important you know?" Jisoo tells them.

 

"There's more of them, actually!" Miyoung spills.

 

"Yeah, they're inside the abandoned lighthouse. It's just beneath this cliff. Wanna go there? We have the keys." Jaehyun says.

 

"Let me guess, you're not supposed to go there too?" Jisoo arches an eyebrow, trying to be intimidating but the smile forming on her face because of the kids' silliness betrays her.

 

Jaehyun and Miyoung only smiled at her.

 

"Remind me to never keep any locked cabinets around you two." Jisoo shakes her head light-heartedly.

 

"So, you wanna go see the lighthouse?" Jaehyun asks once again.

 

"I mean, it's windy outside but..." Jisoo stops and thinks for a moment. "But I'm Dr. Kim Jisoo and mere winds can't beat me." Jisoo finally decides. "Let's go kick some butts!" Jisoo comically punches her fist in the air while two children cheer for her.

 

The two children started pulling her outside and Jisoo can't help but follow them.

 

This is going to be a long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anyway, this is what the two kids are playing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LvEXqjnuQww


	3. chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> new chapter : D

Steady waves going back and forth, green hills, a bench near the cliff that looked like it went through many seasons, the lighthouse standing strong after many years, and the undeniable strong scent of salt water.

 

That was the sight that greeted Jisoo when the kids pulled her behind the house near the cliff. Jisoo absentmindedly sits on the worn-out bench as she stares at the picturesque scenery with wonder in her eyes. She closes her eyes, resting her head on the headrest of the bench. Letting the cold breeze sing her a serene and calm song, her mind slowly drifts off to a tranquil place.

 

"Beautiful isn't it?" Miyoung mused, sitting beside Jisoo.

 

Jisoo opens her eyes and turns her head to look at the smaller girl beside her, she nods her head and heaves out a breath of amazement. "living in the middle of nowhere doesn't seem too bad at all."

 

"There's the lighthouse." Jaehyun points enthusiastically at the architecture standing in front of them.

 

"We need to head south to get down to it though." Miyoung informed the doctor beside her.

 

"We better get going then." Jisoo stands up from her seat, a paradoxical feeling clawing at her chest, she doesn't want to leave the view yet. Nevertheless, as tempting as it is to just sit and let the sight of the beautiful horizon engulf her, she knows she needed to get going. There could be a piece of information about Lisa that resides in that lighthouse.

 

The three of them continued their journey to the lighthouse, the kids leading the way.

 

She watches the two play tag as they continue their journey. A small smile crept up to her face. Just watching these kids be carefree and well, be  _kids,_ gives her a minuscule of joy, making her job not so exhausting.

 

"are we almost there yet?" Jisoo wonders, already exhausted at walking. It's already been five minutes but it already feels like forever.

 

"Yep, only a few more walks and we're there." Jaehyun answers.

 

Then a squirrel suddenly appears, causing Miyoung to screech. Jisoo heroically walked in front of the kids, protectively shielding them with her arms.

 

"don't worry rascals, I got this." Jisoo assures the two children behind her back, confidence oozing in her voice. The squirrel only stares at Jisoo.

 

Jaehyun and Miyoung stared at each other. Miyoung shrugged as well as Jaehyun, completely clueless at what the doctor is doing.

 

Jisoo picks up a rock then aims it at the oblivious squirrel. "This ends here!" she intently glares at the folly little creature. Jisoo was about to hurl the rock but Miyoung stops her from doing so.

 

"stop it! or we'll tell eomma you animal abuse." Miyoung shouts. She crosses her arms and glared at Jisoo.

 

"Yah, she could call the cops on you." Jaehyun adds.

 

Jisoo quickly drops the rock and dusted of her hands. "Aw, c'mon..." Jisoo prattled, looking at the kids. "I wasn't  _actually_  gonna..." she pressed, but the kids only looks at her with their eyebrows arching at her, not entirely convinced.

 

"Don't you like role-playing?" Jisoo prompted, scratching the nape of her neck.

 

Jisoo hears the squirrel squeak, grabbing her attention. She watches it pick up something, a fallen fruit perhaps and the little creature immediately runs away.

 

"You should be ashamed of yourself, Jisoo-unnie." Miyoung accusingly points at her.

 

Jisoo gaped at her, already feeling the shame run through her system, closing and opening her mouth to protest but words can't seem to form.

 

Miyoung then looks at her brother, "let's name it acorn."

 

Jaehyun nods his head excitedly. "Yeah!"

 

Then the two kids continued to head toward the direction of the lighthouse, continuing their game of tag.

 

"Sheez, I'm just tryna protect you rascals." Jisoo mutters to herself and follows the two.

 

After walking and walking they finally got to their destination.

 

"That was a  _long_  walk." Jisoo wheezes, dragging her feet that felt too heavy.

 

The lighthouse stands close to a cliff, its paint is already chipped and there were cracks and fissures on the architecture but it still seemed pretty strong. It was old, yes, but it's obvious that it was in good hands. Jisoo notices that its windows have planks covering them.

 

"It looks abandoned but Lisa had always taken care of it." Jaehyun tells the doctor.

 

"Eomma and her always clean this place once a week." Miyoung adds.

 

"This lighthouse really meant a lot to her." Jisoo states, analyzing the architecture standing before her.

 

"Let's go inside already," Jisoo utters, heading toward the lighthouse's front door.

 

At the corner of her eye, she sees a gravestone. It was unusual for a gravestone to be there.

 

She slowly walked towards it. She reads the engraved words.

 

_In memory of Jennie Kim_

 

"Oh, Lisa's wife..."

 

"C'mon, the lighthouse is already here!" Jaehyun suddenly drags her snapping Jisoo from her thoughts.

 

They walked a lot of stairs before getting to the last story of the lighthouse. There were still paper rabbits on the floor, there's at least ten of them, but the other one is placed on the lone stool.

 

Jisoo curiously taps the lamp that provides light for the lighthouse. "Seems like this thing hasn't functioned for quite a while."

 

She then proceeds to the stool, where the multi-colored paper rabbit is sitting. Jisoo picks it up and analyzes it, its body was yellow while its head and feet are blue.

 

"That wasn't there last week" Jaehyun pointed out.

 

"Lisa, must've come here before she fell ill again." Miyoung theorized.

 

"Two colors? But why?" Jisoo asks. Holding out the paper rabbit for the kids to see.

 

"No idea." Jaehyun shrugs, nonchalant.

 

Jisoo's phone suddenly rings, "hold on," she pulls the device from her lab coat's pocket and immediately tapped the call button, not bothering to look at the caller's name.

 

"Ack, I should've guessed." Jisoo sighs as she hears Chaeyoung's usually annoyed voice already berating her ear.

 

_"Where the hell are you? It's been taking too long!"_

"Ow, my ear. Don't shout Chaeng." Jisoo rolls her eyes. 

 

_"Hurry up, or I'll kick-"_

 

"Blah, blah, blah." she cuts in and immediately hangs up, cutting the conversation short.

 

"We should head back now. I can hear your girlfriend getting mad." Jaehyun chirps out.

 

"She's not-" Jisoo protested but the kids started to run away before she could finish what she wanted to imply.

 

Jisoo could only sigh.

* * *

 

 

"I'll see you later, kiddos." Jisoo bids the children goodbye, waving at the little ones with a grateful smile on her face.

 

"Later!"

 

Then the two children head downstairs, leaving Jisoo in the hallway on the second floor. She heads toward Lisa's room, knocking first before opening the door and softly stepping inside.

 

"What took you so long?" Chaeyoung's voice was the first thing that rang in her ears.

 

"Sorry, I was busy burning ants with a magnifying glass." She sarcastically replies, closing the door gently. Proceeding to walk toward the machine. She gently places the stuffed-animal and the paper rabbit beside the table.

 

"Under the moonlight?" Chaeyoung arches her eyebrows at Jisoo's sarcasm. "If you're gonna be sarcastic at least be realistic."

 

"God, it's hard being smart nowadays." Jisoo scoffs.

 

"You're good at being half of it." Chaeyoung jested.

 

Jisoo hears Wendy holding her laugh in the background. "Yeah, she's pretty mean. I know."

 

"You two are wasting your time. Stop arguing like an old married couple and do your thing." Wendy snorts.

 

Jisoo was about to protest but Chaeyoung calls her name and she defeatedly follows the younger doctor.

 

 _Like an old married couple_ , Wendy smiles to herself.

 

"Can you put the helmet on Lisa." Chaeyoung states rather than ask.

 

Jisoo then quickly obliges, taking the memory traversal helmet. Jisoo slowly but carefully slid the helmet on Lisa's head, also securing it after. She presses a button on the side of the helmet and the led lights instantly lit up.

 

"Lisa Manoban is now connected," Jisoo announces. She walks toward the machine once again, taking a sit on the chair, she starts to work on the codes and such to get the machine started.

 

Chaeyoung was already wearing the helmet but she's still not turning it on. She picks up the other helmet and carefully slid it on her partner's head. Jisoo's eyes are fixated on the hologram screen, punching the final codes.

 

Chaeyoung then sits on the sofa and patiently waits for her partner to finish.

 

"By the way, I'm curious..." Lily starts. Chaeyoung averts her attention toward the woman.

 

"How does it work? Do you just write her another life? Like a novel?"

 

"No, we're no novelist or something." Jisoo answers, her eyes still glued at the hologram screen, fingers flying over the hologram's keyboard. "We can't just write out an entire life manually. There's way  _too_  many dimensions."

 

"Then... how do you guys do it?" Lily questions, still puzzled. Her face contorting into a confused expression.

 

"It's mainly the machine that does the  _'doing',_ " Chaeyoung replies. "In a nutshell, our job is to travel through her memories to as early as possible."

 

"And when we do, we would then transfer her registered desire of going to the moon." Chaeyoung explains.

 

"To the reconstruction of the world and herself at that early state." Jisoo continues. "And with the help of a wiki of data and her own, the machine then simulate a rerun."

 

"Except this time, she'll have the motivation of her registered desire with her all her life." Chaeyoung finishes.

 

"So, you'd be depending on her fulfilling her own wish by simply having the desire to?" Lily questions once again.

 

"Everyone has ambition for things, but most don't accomplish them." The younger doctor replies. "In the real world ambitions fluctuate, and eventually fade. People start things with a passion, but most of the time they lose that initial drive and slow down."

 

"But imagine if you locked onto your passion your entire life, never wavering." Chaeyoung pauses, glancing over at Lisa, a forlorn sigh escaping her lips. "It's more powerful than it seems."

 

"That being said, we better get started." Jisoo chimes in, already punching the last final code.

 

"Goodluck," Wendy tells them.

 

Jisoo nods appreciatively, Chaeyoung only looks at the doctor, not saying anything. Chaeyoung doesn't have to say anything because Wendy can already see how her eyes spoke.

 

Wendy knows she's scared, they've talked to each other about things when Jisoo was busy exploring the house. But she knows she'll do well.

 

"See you there, Soo." Chaeyoung faintly smiles at her partner.

 

Jisoo smiles back, assuring the younger doctor.

 

Chaeyoung watches as Jisoo switches the helmet on, the LED lights suddenly lit up and she hears a faint  _beep_ , she hears her say  _"initiate"_  and she watches Jisoo close her eyes and become unconscious.

 

Chaeyoung lets out a final sigh,  _here it goes._

 

She switches her helmet on, her hands used to be clammy the first few times she did this, but she's steady now (she thinks).

 

She switches that familiar button, then led lights faintly illuminate her view and she hears a louder  _beep_  this time. The helmet momentarily covered her ears.

 

At this stage, the machine is now voice-activated, before she says that one word that'll transport her  _into_  Lisa's memories, she glances at Jisoo one last time and closes her eyes, taking a deep breath.

 

She's ready now.

 

_"Initiate"_

Then the familiar blinding light she got accustomed to throughout the few years filled her vision.

 

The light becomes brighter and brighter and brighter, completely engulfing her.

 

Then...

 

Darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if this chapter isn't that long. But I'll try to make the next chapters longer. 
> 
> and sorry in advance if I take long enough to upload, I'm either lazy to write or unmotivated to write lol
> 
> and thank you for the love y'all been giving to this story. It's kinda confusing at first but you'll be able to understand it in the next chapters to come.
> 
> p.s I kinda accidentally deleted this chapter afgghdhs. I really am boo boo the fool


	4. chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's the first memory leap : D

_Lisa Manoban - 76 years old_

 

Jumping into the first memory feels like being plunged to the waters. Everything feels weightless. Like you're sort of just floating— it's like being in space where gravity isn't something that existed.

 

If Chaeyoung's being honest she's still not used to it, this feeling of being helpless as she transports into another world in someone else's view.

 

After a few seconds, she can finally feel her eyes fluttering open. Her eyelids slowly unfolded, her eyesight still blurry and her consciousness just returning. Disorientation is common when you jump to the recent memory of a patient, it's part of the after-effect.

 

It took a couple of seconds for her sight to be clear, her other senses adjusting as well.

 

The first thing she sees is the same and familiar interior design of Lisa's huge bedroom. It looks the same as the real world except there were no hospital equipments beside her, and Wendy and Lily weren't there watching Lisa with heavy hearts.

 

She feels herself splayed on the sofa, she slowly gets up and starts stretching her back and her arms. It feels like she just woke up from hours of sleep (which she barely gets).

 

She finds her partner sitting on the same chair but the machine wasn't on the table anymore. Jisoo has her head faced down on the table causing her hair to cover her face. Chaeyoung slowly walks up to her and starts nudging her, checking if she's still alive or something.

 

"Chaeng, can you stop" Jisoo incoherently whines. "I'm sleeping here."

 

"Yah!" The younger doctor slaps Jisoo's head with little force causing Jisoo's head to shot up. "How come you have the audacity to sleep when you know our client already has little time?"

 

"You took too long to wake up." Jisoo yawns. "I just took the chance. And besides, you had your nap in the car ride. Not fair."

 

"you're the one who initiated to drive." Chaeyoung counters.

 

"I always lose when it comes to you. What the hell?" Jisoo grunts, lazily standing up from her seat.

 

"So, this should be the last accessible memory." Chaeyoung states.

 

Jisoo nods, "she's probably outside right now, sitting on the old bench just like what Lily said."

 

"Then we should get going."

 

"Let's get over this as quickly as possible." Jisoo says impassively. She is still lukewarm toward Lisa.

 

"But first of all, we should deactivate 'entity interaction' except for Lisa, of course. We don't want to scare the children and Lily. It'd be awkward." Chaeyoung points out, already changing the default settings.

 

"Or you can just pause Lily and the kids. Since Lily will fetch her for dinner, you know?" Jisoo suggests, shrugging her shoulders. Chaeyoung agrees and follows the other doctor's suggestion.

 

"By the way, do you already have your tablet?" Chaeyoung asks.

 

"Yep, already have it." Jisoo pulls out the tablet that only appears when they're inside the patient's mind.

 

The tablet lets you control things inside a person's mind, such as the activation and deactivation of certain things and senses— speech as one of the examples. It reboots and loops memories if needed. It also lets you view the person's health condition and their timeline. It's also the thing that lets you exit the patient's mind to go back to the real world.

 

Basically, this tablet is really essential. The voice-activation only works in the real world.

 

Chaeyoung finishes changing a few things in the settings, "done, let's get going.".

 

They stepped out of Lisa's room and wandered downstairs. Now they don't have to worry about the risk of getting caught and called as intruders.

 

The first floor of the house still looks the same, nothing changed really. Jisoo walks toward the piano, a piece of paper catching her eyes.

 

" _For Jennie",_ she reads the title of the music sheet.

 

"What kind of song is this? It's just the same two notes repeated over and over again." She says.

 

"Two notes repeated could still be very powerful and meaningful though," Chaeyoung states her opinion.

 

"Depends," Jisoo shrugs, already dismissing the topic.

 

They stepped outside of the house and Jisoo takes the lead toward the direction where the bench is located.

 

"How come you knew about this?" Chaeyoung asks.

 

"The kids took me here when they showed me around. And they also took me to the lighthouse." Jisoo answers. "it was a long walk, though. From the house to the lighthouse."

 

"That's why it took you so long to get back."

 

"And by the way, when the kids showed me around there's a room inside the basement filled with paper rabbits and there's a stuffed-platypus sitting on a lone chair. I actually took the platypus just in case it's important and placed it beside the machine." Jisoo shares. Chaeyoung's raises her eyebrows, a little bit puzzled.

 

"Oh, that explains you bringing something childish inside the room earlier." Chaeyoung comments.

 

"Hey, stuffed-toys aren't childish." Jisoo remarks, offended at what her partner said.

 

"I was actually referring to you." Chaeyoung jokes, holding her laugh.

 

"I'm more offended with what you said about stuffed-toys earlier." Jisoo snorts.

 

"I think you're already used to me always winning in our bickering." The younger doctor teasingly nudges Jisoo.

 

"I'm already used to you," Jisoo smiles at the latter. Chaeyoung demurely hides her blush forming on her cheeks.

 

"Jisoo, please shut up."

 

And Jisoo obediently nods, afraid that she might be overstepping some boundaries with her and Chaeyoung's relationship.

 

 _She has a boyfriend, pal._ She dejectedly reminds herself.

 

"Lisa's right there." Chaeyoung quietly announces, pointing at their client's back. Jisoo instantly snapped out of her thoughts.

 

Lisa's sitting on the bench, staring at the horizon flashed before her. Her back was turned to them, they couldn't see her face but the two doctors know it's their patient.

 

They both strode toward the woman with careful and gentle steps. They stopped in their tracks, standing behind Lisa with a couple of proximity. They didn't want to walk right in front of her, it might surprise their client too much and it's kind of disrespectful.

 

Chaeyoung stared at Lisa's back, wondering what she felt in this moment. Was she sad? nostalgic? guilty? content? with the life she lived.

 

Jisoo nudged the younger doctor to get her attention. Chaeyoung glances at her partner, "should we say hi now or?" Jisoo whispers.

 

Chaeyoung nods, "uhm, excuse me?" she calls out.

 

Lisa shuffles in her seat and turning her head to look at them. The doctors were relieved she wasn't startled when she saw them.

 

"Hello, who might you two be?" Lisa softly smiles at them, her voice had less energy but that doesn't make it welcoming and warm. "this is quite a surprise, I barely get visitors around here."

 

Chaeyoung could tell that Lisa Manoban is a serene and kind person, but she does look exhausted. The dim light of her bedroom masked the details on her face, now in the faint orange light of the afternoon illuminated the dark circles under her eyes, her sunken cheeks and the creases on her face, making it prominent in the eye. Chaeyoung wonders how tough life became to her, she's about to find out later on.

 

"I'm Chaeyoung" she introduces. "and this is my partner Jisoo." her thumb pointing at the girl beside her, Jisoo waves at the woman.

 

"partner?" Lisa asks, looking at both of them with surprised eyes that immediately softened. A knowing small smile made its way on her face. "you look cute together. I wish the best for you two."

 

Chaeyoung blinks her eyes a lot of times in a matter of seconds, processing what the older woman meant.

 

While Jisoo nearly choked on thin air. She ignores her heart pounding violently in her chest, it felt like it could break her ribcage in a matter of seconds.

 

"W-we're _work_  partners," Chaeyoung spluttered.

 

A good-natured laugh escaped Lisa's mouth. "I'm sorry about that, then."

 

"it's fine," Jisoo chuckles nervously, though subtle.

 

"anyway, I'm Lisa. What can I help you with?"

 

Jisoo gently nudges Chaeyoung, it was time for the mandatory introduction. "Are you familiar with Sigmund Agency of Life Generation?"

 

That bright smile on Lisa's face slowly disappeared. "oh, are you from the agency? that explains the lab coats then." she points at the two of them. "I already contacted Sigmund, they told me they'll only perform the memory traversal procedure if I was..." there was a heavy pause. "on my death bed."

 

"I'm guessing I'm already on my death bed, and this is just my memory, right?" Lisa tries to mask that clawing feeling in her chest with a small smile.

 

There was a fragility in her voice. Chaeyoung hated this part of the job-- watching their patients' accept the bitter truth.

 

Jisoo silently nods.

 

"right," Lisa mutters softly, accepting the inevitable news.

 

Jisoo was quite surprised that Lisa accepted this without breaking down.

 

"I suppose I had a good run. There were regrets, yes, but it's fine since Jennie's there by my side." That small sad smile lingered on her lips.

 

Chaeyoung feels her heart break a little.

 

"so, can you do it?" Lisa asks, desperation founds a shelter on her face. " take me to the moon?"

 

" we can't, we're just here to guide. It's mostly you who might be able to do it." Chaeyoung answers.

 

"why do you even want to go there?" Jisoo questions, brows contorting in frustration and curiosity.

 

"I don't know..." Lisa answers.

 

"Jesus Christ," the older doctor mutters under her breath, massaging the bridge of her nose.

 

"it's fine, you can tell us. It's really essential for helping us get you there" Chaeyoung tells her.

 

"Do you want the fame? the money? c'mon you gotta have a motive." Jisoo pries. Lisa's been frustrating her lately. With barely information about her and without her having a motive for her wish. 

 

"I'm sorry... but I really don't know." Lisa apologizes sincerely.

 

Jisoo heaves out an annoyed sigh. She pulls out her tablet and decided to pause Lisa, Lisa suddenly freezes in her position. The older doctor strode toward her and flicked her forehead.

 

"Hey!" Chaeyoung scolds her.

 

"she at least deserves that for being a pain in the ass." Jisoo shrugs nonchalantly. She goes back to her original position, which is beside Chaeyoung, and tapped the proceed option for Lisa.

 

"Is a motive really necessary?" Lisa questions.

 

"Yes, it's really essential. We're not the ones who will take you to the moon, we're just here to guide you. The one that will take you to the moon is  _yourself_." Jisoo explains, emphasizing the last word.

 

"I see" Lisa slowly utters.

 

"Nevertheless, here's what we'll do." Chaeyoung starts. "we need to go to your childhood, but it is too distant to do so in one memory hop."

 

Lisa attentively listens even though she has quite a hard time understanding how it works.

 

"We will need to traverse through your memories with gradual backward leaps."

 

"which you've given us the permission to do so in the future." Jisoo butts in. Chaeyoung nods her head at her partner's statement.

 

"Once we lay down the waypoints in your childhood memories for direct access, we will return here. That's when you'll need to help us influence the childhood you to become an astronaut, which is the closest thing to help you get to the moon." Chaeyoung said.

 

"Or to get on a giant catapult that would fling you to the moon." Jisoo jokes.

 

Lisa subtly laughs at the older doctor. "you're something. Maybe If I were the same age as yours we'd be friends." Lisa chuckles.

 

The corner of Jisoo's lips tugs into a small smile. "I barely get to hear that."

 

Lisa's gaze then averted to Chaeyoung's. "I'm sorry if I don't know the reason why I want to go there. I just... _do._ But as long as you can take me to the moon, I'll cooperate in any way possible."

 

"okay," Chaeyoung nods.

 

"to take the leaps, we need something called  _mementos,"_ It was now Jisoo who's doing the explaining. "It's an object that holds importance to you."

 

"Now in order to leap to a memory, we need a memento. So, do you have one to get us started?" Jisoo asks.

 

"oh, wait..." Lisa utters, padding to the bench. She pulls out the worn-out platypus stuffed-toy, then carefully hands it to Chaeyoung.

 

"Jennie...she, uh, she loved that very much." Lisa smiles as she stares at the toy with so much fondness.

 

"she really took care of it, didn't she?" Chaeyoung says, examining the toy in her hand.

 

"Yeah, she really did. She always had that with her." Lisa tells them.

 

"let's do it, we don't have time to waste." Jisoo says, pointing the tablet at the toy to scan it.

 

"here we go," Chaeyoung held on to the toy tightly, it brought her comfort in a way. She waited for Jisoo to prepare the memento, tapping the codes into the tablet that'll let them proceed to the next memory.

 

Chaeyoung's gaze averted to the horizon before them. This was the last sight that's engraved in Lisa Manoban's mind before she became unconscious. If she were in Lisa's shoes, she won't have it any other way.

 

"It's ready, Chaeng." Jisoo announces, unintentionally interrupting the younger doctor's thoughts.

 

"Okay," Chaeyoung mutters, without allowing to think more she held onto the toy and pulls out her own tablet. "first memory leap." She turns to Jisoo who gives her a small assuring nod.

 

"before you guys go..." Lisa prolongs. "thank you." she smiles at the two of them.

 

"Don't thank us yet, Lisa." Jisoo tells her.

 

"I know you guys will succeed." Lisa lastly tells them.

 

Jisoo returns her gaze to the device, her hand hovering over the activate option. "ready, Chaeng?"

 

"ready."

 

"alright." she says and without hesitation taps the  _activate memento._

 

She saw one last glimpse of Lisa and the lighthouse- before the blinding white light completely engulfs her vision.

 

 


	5. chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey sorry it's been a while since I last updated, kinda got busy hehehe

 

_Lisa Manoban - 73 years old_

 

As soon as Chaeyoung opened her eyes, she finds herself in the middle of the living room inside Lisa's house. The only difference is that there wasn't any furniture sprawled all over the place. They find themselves standing near the piano instrument--since the memento, which is the platypus, situated idly on top of it.

 

The first memento that they received automatically became raw data for the machine to process. The data along with other mementos would go through the same process, it would serve as a link from memory to another memory, that would help the doctors perform leaps easily from the previous memories they've visited. It's like a checkpoint of Lisa's timeline.

 

The huge and vast house looked empty and...lonely. It's so hollow, and Chaeyoung thinks that's how Lisa must've felt living here. She was alone after all in this big abyss she's supposed to call home.

 

Only the piano, the stuffed-platypus, and the grandfather's clock were the only things displayed inside. The other pieces of furniture are either still in their boxes or disarrayed.

 

"So, Lisa's 73 now." Jisoo comments, scrolling through her own tablet, checking their client's timeline. "this must be the day where she first moved in." she observed, checking out the random boxes and a couple of disarrayed furniture in the room.

 

"yeah, you could tell by the boxes and the lack of furniture," Chaeyoung says, gesturing at the expansive space they're in.

 

"So, Lily and the kids aren't still here yet?" Chaeyoung asks, walking around the place while her eyes also roamed around.

 

"Yeah, I guess they came later in Lisa's life." Jisoo said.

 

"Oh look, the grandfather clock is still not ticking." the older doctor stated, tapping the old furniture mindlessly.

 

Then the sound of the door opening startled the two young doctors. Chaeyoung and Jisoo quickly pulled out their tablet and turned off the visibility and interactivity settings.

 

"Jesus, we almost got caught." Jisoo heaves out a relieved sigh.

 

The door closed as soon as it was opened, revealing Lisa. She was wearing a plain mustard yellow sweater and some brown slacks, in her hand was a music sheet of some sort.

 

The old woman slowly walked toward the piano, her old age gave her a little bit of difficulty to do simple things. "ugh, I hate being old." Lisa groans, her left hand behind her hip, stretching her back a little bit hoping it would get rid of her back pain. She carefully took a sit on the stool that's placed before the piano.

 

The two doctors watched the woman put the music sheet in front of her, her fingers hovered above the keys like she was waiting for a cue. Her eyes were dull and forlorn like it went through many rough waypoints in life. If Chaeyoung hadn't seen Lisa in her last memory, she'd think her eyes were never capable of emitting brightness in them.

 

She took a deep breath first before her hands started waltzing on their own. A symphony of the same two notes echoed inside the room, the silence ended by the dulcet sound that fills the room.

 

The sound grew louder and Chaeyoung could feel the vibration on her skin.

 

Chaeyoung carefully and attentively analyzed the old woman play the instrument before her. Her fingers indeed moved gracefully, but something caught Chaeyoung's eyes more. The younger doctor saw how her fingers moved, she wasn't playing the piano, instead, she was caressing it the way we touch flowers with so much care and gentleness, afraid that we might destroy it even in the most minuscule way.

 

She played the piano like she was holding the hands of her lover.

 

Chaeyoung's attention then diverted to Lisa's eyes. They weren't dull anymore, but they weren't vivid either. There was an emptiness residing in her orbs, fragility in her gaze--something that seemed so easy to break if it weren’t handled with care. A feeling of sentiment and vulnerability mashed into one.

 

Lisa wasn't playing the melody anymore, she's becoming one with it, she's telling a story without words but Chaeyoung understands the feeling her heart is trying to reach out with every symphony that echoes inside the hollowness of the room.

 

Chaeyoung finds it amazing how music has such an amazing effect on people. 

 

"Hey," she hears Jisoo's soft voice. "that's what the kids were playing earlier."

 

"she must've taught them well." Chaeyoung replies back. Attention still glued at the old woman.

 

"yeah, she really did."

 

Lisa hit the last note and they were met by the silence again.

 

"that was something..." she hears Jisoo behind her mutter. The younger doctor could tell her partner was mesmerized.

 

"we should get going now." Chaeyoung says. The latter nods her head in reply.

 

"we need to find a memento to hop on," Jisoo says as she starts roaming around. She pulls out her tablet and starts pointing it at every stuff inside the house. The memento could be any object, anything that's lying around. Searching for something that looks significant to Lisa. She sees something flicker in the slightest bit in her peripheral view, her head whipped as fast as possible at the object and sees a blue umbrella.

 

Jisoo ambled toward the umbrella that's been lying on the floor, bending down to examine it with close proximity, her eyes never blinking as she waits for the object to flicker, and luckily it did. It flickered in the most subtle way that a person that doesn't have a 20/20 vision wouldn't even notice it.

 

A  _memento._ Jisoo grins, quickly pointing her tablet at the object, the device scanning it immediately and the following beep the device let out confirmed that it was indeed a memento. "we need to find memory links to activate the memento." Jisoo informs her partner.

 

"Alright," Chaeyoung responded, checking her own device if there are any more memory links in the living room and there still are. She sees the piano flicker, it was subtle, barely any difference from a normal piano.

 

The difference between a memento and a memory link is that a memento would flicker in a black and white grainy mess, while a memory link would flicker in a bluish color.

 

She walks toward the large instrument, pointing her tablet at it and letting it get scanned. "found one," she announces.

 

"me too!" Jisoo replies, standing near the grandfather’s clock. "we only need three more."

 

"we should head upstairs," Chaeyoung suggested, heading to the wooden stairs, Jisoo following her.

 

They arrived on the second floor, trudging into Lisa's bedroom first. A time overlap happened, now Lisa's sitting on the floor while she cut through the taped boxes, opening them then taking out her belongings.

 

Time overlaps are the patients’ memories, specifically the activity they had done, that covers different parts of the timeline the doctors are currently in, it partly coincides in time, that’s why it takes a few seconds for the replica of the activity to appear in a certain room or area of the memory they’re in.

 

They walked near her bed, a pack of raisins sprawled on the mattress. "this could be a memory link." Chaeyoung says, she sees it flicker and instantly points the device at it.

 

"I hate raisins." Chaeyoung sees Jisoo grimacing.

 

"what's to hate? they're raisins." Chaeyoung shrugs nonchalantly.

 

"exactly." Jisoo remarks. Walking around to find another memory link.

 

"okay, last two." she hears Chaeyoung mutter.

 

Jisoo stops at an old patched-up backpack on the table. "what is this? a million years old?" she comments, but as soon as it flickered she scanned it anyway.

 

"we should go to the other room. There are no more memory links in this room according to the device." Chaeyoung says, typing something on her tablet.

 

"I checked that room earlier. It was locked, though." Jisoo conceded.

 

"This was three years ago." Chaeyoung answers back. "She just moved in and is all alone, so it's not impossible for the door to be locked."

 

"Alright."

 

They exited the master's bedroom and headed to the other room. "can we just walk through walls?" Jisoo whines.

 

"we don't have that kind of setting, Soo."

 

Chaeyoung's fingers curled around the knob, turning it to the right side and luckily, it wasn't locked just like what Jisoo said. "see? Told you so." 

 

"I wonder what's in there,  though. Why would Lisa lock it in the first place." the older doctor speculated, Chaeyoung could only shrug her shoulders.

 

They opened the door slowly, the room is huge as well, but not as big as Lisa's room. What caught their eyes is the crib in the middle of the room, and old but untouched random baby toys on a toy box and baby bottles displayed on the table. Then a time overlap happened, they saw Lisa sitting on a stool near the crib, her hands softly caressing the sleek wood.

 

"Jennie..." Lisa sighed heavily. "Jennie can't seem to let you go. She never wanted to." her voice was crestfallen.

 

"But I wanted you to know that I have loved you ever since. It's just a shame I wasn't even given a chance to show it to you." A small sad smile crept up to Lisa's face.

 

"Things are starting to unravel..." Chaeyoung hears Jisoo's voice, noticing the sudden shift of her partner's tone. The usual sardonic tone Jisoo usually uses was replaced by empathy.

 

"I think I'm not ready to see Lisa's past memories..." Jisoo whispers. "I think they'll be too heartbreaking. And you know I'm not a big fan of tears."

 

"Yeah..." is all Chaeyoung could utter, her eyes never leaving Lisa's figure. It's almost three years and she's still not used to the emotional turmoil this job brings.

 

The crib flickered in the tiniest bit and Chaeyoung scans it quickly, her eyes averting from Lisa and back to the object, her gaze crestfallen as she watches Lisa caress the crib the way she touches the piano keys earlier, with the most gentle and feathered touch.

 

"I think we should get going now." Jisoo's voice snapped her from her thoughts, the older doctor caressing Chaeyoung's arm comfortingly.

 

Chaeyoung nods, immediately leaving the room without uttering a single world.

 

They had attentively and intently analyzed the old woman, hoping it would help them decipher Lisa's motive for her final wish. But it's just the beginning and they can already feel their heart sink.

 

They went to the first story of Lisa's house once again, walking toward the memento--the blue umbrella. Jisoo scans it one more time, it was now activated. Then she punches in the codes to let them leap to another memory that's waiting to unfold.

 

"I wonder where this would take us," Chaeyoung said. "it's an umbrella and I don't have any idea where we would end up."

 

"well, we're about to find out." Jisoo says, already finished typing out the codes. "are you ready, Chaeng?" Jisoo asks gently, she knows that Chaeyoung's being sentimental, so she waits for her assurance before tapping the _activate memento_  setting.

 

"yeah... I'm good," Chaeyoung mutters, giving the older doctor a small smile.

 

Jisoo nods, she takes a deep breath, her finger gently pressing the setting.

 

They were once again greeted by the white light once again.

 

* * *

  
_Lisa Manoban - 73 years old_

 

As soon as they opened their eyes they find themselves near the lighthouse. The sky was dark and dim, clouding the sun completely, and there are big drops of rain pouring down.

 

"Glad that the rain goes  _through_  us and not  _onto_  us," Jisoo states, placing her hand on her hip and a satisfied grin plastered on her face.

 

"I don't mind it regardless. I love the rain." Chaeyoung replies back, holding out her hand for the raindrops to trickle on but quickly retrieves her hand when she remembers it goes _through_ her. "anyway, seems like the memory hops only span a short period of time." she adds, checking the timeline in her device and the woman is still 73 years old.

 

She noticed Lisa standing with the blue umbrella in her hand, the old woman's back is facing them. Chaeyoung wonders what's in front of her, and why is she standing there in the middle of the rain.

 

Jisoo follows the latter's line of sight. "so this is were the memento brought us."

 

"we need to find a leaping memento or it's going to take forever." Chaeyoung heaves out a frustrated sigh.

 

"just enjoy the scenery, Chaeng."

 

"I thought you were the one who wanted to get this over with." The younger doctor arches her eyebrow dourly at her partner.

 

"well... I'm kinda interested now." Jisoo shrugs nonchalantly.

 

They ambled toward the door of the lighthouse, but the device in their hands beeped. "we need at least two memory links to get inside." Chaeyoung said.

 

"I swear I'm gonna makea _walk-through walls_ setting." Jisoo groans, running an annoyed hand on her face.

 

"you're not allowed to do that." her partner warns her.

 

"ho ho ho, watch me!" Jisoo jeered, crossing her arms in a way that Chaeyoung finds immature and childish.

 

"let's just find the memory links." the other doctor sighs and shakes her head.

 

They walked closer to Lisa, the raindrops are starting to get bigger and the wind becomes a little more aggressive, the younger doctor just wants their patient to go inside her damn house than watch her suffer from the heavy rain.

 

Chaeyoung finally gets to see what's in front of the old woman.

 

A gravestone.

 

_In memory of Jennie Kim_

 

She reads and there's that pinch in her heart. She sees it flicker and continues to scan it.

 

"I already found one." she announces.

 

She sees Jisoo intently eyeing the stuffed-platypus in Lisa's hands. "honestly, I think this animal doesn't have the right to exist." Jisoo remarked, once it flickered she quickly scans it.

 

"Jesus, let the platypus breathe."

 

They walked towards the door again, it's unlocked now. Jisoo enters the architecture first and Chaeyoung follows, but she quickly stopped in her tracks when she hears Lisa's voice.

 

"It's finished now, Jennie..." Lisa stares at the gravestone before her. "a week from now I'll be moving in."

 

"I'll be able to watch her every day," Lisa said. "...she won't be alone anymore."

 

"I might never understand why, but I stayed true to your wish." Chaeyoung can hear the crack in her voice. "I'm sure Lyra is grateful to you, too."

 

"but when I'm gone..." there was a long pause. "who's going to watch over us? over  _her?"_

 

Chaeyoung impulsively decided to activate the visibility and interaction setting. She slowly walked toward the old woman, her steps are careful and slow as if she was walking on thin ice.

 

"who are you?" Lisa glances up at her, her face contorting in confusion.

 

"I'm Chaeyoung. I'm just passing by."

 

"Was she your wife?" she asks.

 

Lisa looks at her momentarily before replying, "yes, her name was Jennie."

 

Chaeyoung gives the woman a small sad smile.

 

 

"it didn't need to happen..." Lisa sighs, the doctor can see the way her eyes glistened even in the dark hue of the weather. "she...she didn't need to do it."

 

"Hm?"

 

"you wouldn't understand. I  _don't_  even understand..." tears started to come out of Lisa's eyes. The old woman bends down, her gaze averting from the doctor and going back to the gravestone, hugging the worn-out toy tightly.

 

Chaeyoung backs off and disabled the visibility and interactivity setting. Lisa was too heartbroken to notice her. She looks at Lisa one last time before she enters the lighthouse. She climbs what seemed like a hundred stairs before getting to the last floor where Jisoo might be.

 

"you look like you ran a marathon." Jisoo chuckles at her.

 

"it feels like it." Chaeyoung's too busy regaining her breath to think of a sarcastic comeback.

 

"did you find something here?" Chaeyoung asks. "I mean this place looks pretty empty."

 

"I mean it's a lighthouse, what do you expect?" Jisoo remarks. "anyway, I already found the last memory link. We just need the memento."

 

As if on cue, a time overlap happened. Lisa's now sitting on the floor, staring at the ground like it's an abyss, the platypus sitting idly beside her.

 

"well, looks like we found it." Jisoo says, staring at the flickering stuffed-toy.

 

The older doctor quickly scans it, and starts typing the codes again to activate the memento.

 

"by the way, Jisoo..." Chaeyoung softly calls out, staring at the wistful sight of Lisa.

 

"yeah?" Jisoo hums.

 

"do you know who's Lyra? Lisa mentioned something about her." the younger doctor questioned, her eyes squinting curiously as she tries to connect the few things she knows about Lisa. But unfortunately, she didn't find any answers since there are only a few things she knows about her and they're all basic information.

 

"I don't know a Lyra..." Jisoo answers. "when I was exploring the house I didn't find anything about a Lyra and the kids never mentioned anything about her either."

 

"Lisa's really a pain in the ass, you're right." Chaeyoung sighs.

 

"Told you so," Jisoo grins. "but the mystery of Lisa's life makes this job interesting. It's been a while since I've been invested in finding out about our patient's past." 

 

Jisoo punches the final code once again, "let's see where this will take us."

 

Without hesitation, the older doctor activated the memento again and the same blinding light greeted them again like an old friend.

 


	6. chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The motivation to write this story is coming back.

_Lisa Manoban - 68 years old_

Jisoo blinked a couple of times, adjusting her eyes from the orange light that illuminated the room she’s currently in. The pit-patter of rain can be heard outside the window. The sound bringing some sort of comfort to her. 

 

The room is different, and Jisoo's sure they're in a different house now. Before she analyzes the new memory furthermore, Jisoo opens her tablet and checks the timeline first, wondering where they are now. She sees the screen indicating that Lisa's 68 years old.

 

"Soo, look," she feels her partner nudge her on her side. Her head whips away from the device just to look at something that her partner was pointing at. She follows the latter's line of sight.

 

"Is that..." she squints her eyes at the sight in front of her. "Is that Jennie?" She asks rather than stated, not quite sure if it’s really her. She could’ve been hallucinating for all she knows.

 

There was an old woman laying on a queen-sized bed in the middle of the room, the same old platypus stuffed-toy sits beside her. While their patient, Lisa, sits on a stool near the bed, holding the woman's hand delicately. Her grasp not too tight but Jisoo could tell she never wanted to let go.

 

"Yeah, it's her." Chaeyoung exclaimed a little too excitedly, impulsively slapping her partner’s arm.

 

"Okay, first of all, ow!" Jisoo huffed, glaring at Chaeyoung. "Second, of all is the slap really necessary? And lastly, why are you even excited to see Jennie?"

 

"First of all, I'm sorry." Chaeyoung imitates her partner just to piss her off. Jisoo rolls her eyes at the bad impression. “Second of all, I have this bad habit of unintentionally hitting someone when I get excited. And lastly, because the story will probably start to unravel itself." Chaeyoung whisper-shouts, that excited smile never leaving her face. “We’ll get the answers!”

 

"I should stop being your punching bag," Jisoo joked though she did mean it. "but I forgive you because you're my partner in crime, even if you're annoying and acts like a smart-ass all the time.” she adds, laughing at the way Chaeyoung pouted while her eyebrows contorted into a frown. There are times where she finds her adorable (actually, most of the time she finds her adorable. But of course, Jisoo would rather throw herself on the cliff rather than admit that out loud.)

 

"hey! I'm not annoying!" her partner protested, clearly offended. Crossing her arms and glaring at Jisoo. 

 

"I’m not threatened. You look like a kicked puppy.” Jisoo laughs once again and the blonde couldn't help but pinch her partner's side. "okay, okay, I'll stop." her laughter dying down, raising both of her hands in a form of surrender.

 

”But, I am indeed smart though.” Chaeyoung adds with that cheeky and mocking smile of hers.

 

”oh, wow, I love the confidence.” Jisoo sarcastically says. Chaeyoung ignores her comment not letting it bother her.

 

"I already sold all of my famous pictures, and I think it's enough for your medical treatments and for the house." Lisa's voice interrupted the two doctors' childish bickering, their heads instantly turning to look at the two lovers in front of them.

 

"Then why is my picture still hanging on the wall downstairs?" Jennie asks, her voice sounds so fragile. They heard Jennie's voice for the first time. The two doctors gave each other a curious glance, then their attention returned to Lisa and Jennie.

 

"You know I can't sell that." Lisa protested, Jisoo could tell she was offended at the suggestion. "it's the only picture I have of you." Her voice an octave lower grieving at the sad reality of having only one visual remembrance of her wife.

 

"You never really liked it when people take photos of you, it's one of your ticks. and I respect that, I respect you.” Their patient paused just to gently brush away the strands of hair that drapes on Jennie’s face. "You're usually behind the camera, or not in the camera's frame."

 

"I have baby pictures." Jennie chuckles softly, thinking it could ease Lisa's sorrow. 

 

"No," Lisa interjected with a flat voice. "that's different."

 

"not really," Jennie conceded, her voice taking on a placatory tone as she looks at Lisa with a soft gaze. "they're still me." 

 

"I know but I'd love to have photographs of you where I was already in the picture, where I was already in your life. Where moments I experienced with you are forever frozen in time." 

 

"that's cheesy, not gonna lie." Chaeyoung remarks.

 

“You've always been my muse and it's sad I didn't get to have photoshoots with you back then." Lisa tells her wife, her voice crestfallen as she could only sigh at the missed chances of having many remembrances of Jennie. But it's fine, that one picture could suffice her, she had always respected Jennie. she never had the heart to force her to do something she clearly didn’t want. She loved Jennie way too much to do that. A picture is better than nothing at all.

 

"I still can't believe that people wanted to buy that." Jennie comments, amusement in her voice. "I was like 25 in that photograph. It's so old now." Jennie’s voice sounded hoarse, her voice getting old too, the same as her.

 

"I mean, I can't blame them." Lisa chuckles light-heartedly. "you are beautiful." she says as she stares at Jennie with stardust in her eyes.

 

"I saw the picture, and Jennie was indeed beautiful in her youth." Jisoo states. Remembering how Jennie looked utterly beautiful in that frame that's hanging inside Lisa's office.

 

"But going back, the money is enough." Lisa smiles, _tries_  to smile. Jennie wasn't convinced even the slightest bit.

 

"Lisa, I don't like it when you lie." Her voice is stern. "I already calculated everything... and it's not enough."

 

"Why do you care about Lyra more than you care about yourself?" Lisa asks, her voice rising, the anger and frustration curdling inside her like spoiled milk.

 

"We need the money for your medical bills, gosh!" Lisa exasperatedly falls back on her chair, her hand letting go of Jennie's as she starts to wipe the forming thick hot tears on her eyes. The brittle and cold tone of her voice made Jisoo flinch a little. She got accustomed to the kind and warm voice Lisa has.

 

"she's not even... s-she's not," Lisa struggled to voice out. Her nails digging into her palms.

 

"do you know what makes me happy?" Jennie asks rhetorically, her tone calm and serene unlike the latter's. She immediately reached out for Lisa's hands.

 

"I think so..." Lisa replies hesitantly, caressing the back of Jennie's hand with her thumb. It gives her comfort instead of Jennie, knowing she got to still hold her hand even if Jennie’s a ticking time bomb. “I mean, I don't know. I'm not sure... you- you always wanted something that normal people wouldn't ask for." Lisa admits, heaving out a heavy sigh. "and I do admire you for that..."

 

"well, I do know what makes me happy." Jennie utters. "I just hope you can help me with that."

 

"Jen... you don't have to do this." Lisa was already pleading, her hands holding on tightly with Jennie's own.

 

"When the papers for my treatment get here, I will not sign them. What you do with our money is up to you, but if you grant my wish, I want you to use it to finish building that house." Jennie says with her whole chest. "I don't want Lyra to be alone anymore..."

 

Lisa, "what about you?"

 

Jennie, "happy."

 

"I'll be happy." Jennie assures her, the contented smile on her face sealing it. Lisa looks at her with downcast eyes, it's obvious that she wants Jennie to live for a couple more years, but if this is what she really wants then who is she to say no. The only thing that she ever wanted was for her to be happy.

 

"Okay," the Thai says, her voice quiet. She leans toward Jennie and kisses her forehead.

 

"Lisa?"

 

"hm?"

 

Jennie gives the latter an origami rabbit that has two colors. Lisa looks at it, her face contorting into a puzzled expression, the wrinkles caused by her old age becomes more prominent.

 

"Hey, that's the rabbit." Jisoo mutters under her breath, she watches the scene intently, attentively looking for the details and answers that could be in front of her.

 

"tell me what it is." Jennie says.

 

"It's a rabbit. Just like all the other rabbits you made." Lisa answers simply. Observing the origami creature in her hand. She's still puzzled as ever.

 

"What else?" there was something in Jennie's voice that seemed to be looking for a different _answer._

 

"Its stomach is yellow and the rest is blue," Lisa says, scratching the nape of her neck. Trying to look for more details but there's nothing new, it was like all the others, the only difference it has was the colors.

 

"Good. What else?" she asks again. The answer doesn't suffice what she's looking for.

 

"Jennie..." Lisa sighs, standing up from the chair, putting the paper rabbit down on the ground along with the other white ones. The rabbit made out of yellow and blue paper stands out from the others.

 

Jennie's expression quickly turned gloomy and disappointed.

 

"I made a song for you. Would you like to hear it?" Lisa asks.

 

"I'd love to." Lisa smiles at that.

 

The two doctors watch their client walk towards the instrument.

 

"you know, you didn't have to bring the piano in here." Jennie snorts with a shake of her head.

 

"But I wanted to." Lisa replies back, smiling at her wife. "it's called _For Jennie_."

 

Jennie good-naturedly rolls her eyes at that, "can you be a little more creative?"

 

"hey, it fits perfectly." Lisa counters back, chuckling. She then plays the familiar tune of music.

 

"didn't know Lisa was this sweet." Jisoo remarked, a small smile tugging at the corner of her lips. "I thought she'd always be quiet."

 

"it's quite nice seeing them like this." Chaeyoung comments, admiring the couple.

 

The music continues to fill the silence inside the room. It sounded so compatible with the rain.

 

"I guess we should get going." The older doctor says, tilting her head and motioning at the door, her partner nods in agreement. They searched for memory links first before they leave this sweet memory of the couple behind. Jisoo gives the scene one last look before she closes the door.

 

"I'm still curious about this Lyra." Jisoo hears Chaeyoung verbalize. She looks at her and starts to listen. "If she was so important then we should've seen her in the previous memories."

 

"I guess, Lisa broke her promise." Jisoo shrugs her shoulders, questions already forming, but she quickly stored them in the corner of her mind. She focused on the now before she starts to wonder about all the thousands of questions she's not sure if they have answers for. 

 

"we'll see..." Chaeyoung trails off, still keeping that glimmer of hope.

 

They stepped foot downstairs, the first thing they noticed was that the house isn't as big as the current one, but it looked comfortable, just the right size for the couple.

 

It's more cozy and domestic.

 

Jisoo wonders why did they even have to move when this house fits them perfectly. What was so special about the house on the cliff? And why did Jennie eagerly wanted to finish that house that she had to give up a few years of her life for it?

 

It doesn't make sense at all.

 

A time overlap happened once again, Lisa was talking to someone that the two doctors aren't familiar with. They were beside the piano instrument, arguing over something. The scene seemed as if it happened first before the scene they first traversed to.

 

"Is it just me or the flow of this memory seems to go backward?" Jisoo asks.

 

"Isn't it supposed to go that way sometimes?" Chaeyoung asks rhetorically. looking at Jisoo weirdly, as if the features on her face switched its place. 

 

"Well, I kind of forgot." Jisoo shrugs nonchalantly. "It's been a while since I did this, you know, the actual leaping and whatnot." She says gesticulating at the place they’re in.

 

"short-term memory loss only seemed cute to dory and my dead grandmother who had dementia." Chaeyoung retorts and quickly diverts her attention away from Jisoo to focus on her job.

 

"Nye, nye, nye." Jisoo quietly mocks when the other doctor wasn't looking anymore. _"Geez, the paperwork really took over my system."_ Jisoo inwardly tells herself.

 

"it's not going to work, Lis!" the friend of Lisa says, running a frustrated hand on her face.

 

"Seulgi, we can make it work! maybe we could tear it apart." Lisa sounded too desperate and eager.

 

"Lisa, have you forgotten about our age? Instead of us tearing the piano, the piano would literally tear our bones apart." The other old woman, whose name is Seulgi (from what they heard), counters. Lisa jutted out her bottom lip with a sad and disappointed look on her face. Her friend lets out a defeated sigh, "If this really means a lot to you then I'll pay the professionals to do this, this is the least I can do."

 

Lisa cheers and engulfed the latter in a tight hug that Jisoo thinks is impossible for old people to do. 

 

"Seulgi is a good friend." Chaeyoung utters out of nowhere. "glad Lisa has, or had, someone like her." Jisoo hums in response, agreeing at her partner's statement. The older doctor could really see the mask of concern and safekeeping Seulgi has for their patient.

 

 "Anyways, we need to keep going. Time's running." Chaeyoung announces. Quickly ambling out of this scene to continue her job, which is what she signed up for in the first place. 

 

"You really love her that much, yeah?" Jisoo hears Seulgi's soft voice, halting her steps just to listen and see where this conversation is going.

 

"I think I never loved someone this much, Seul." Lisa replies. "I'm willing to give the world to her, you know. I've always been willing to give her happiness," there was a lengthy pause. Jisoo notices the complete 360 shift of her tone and demeanor, from the bright cheery voice she heard earlier for something so simple dissolved into this voice of complete melancholy.

 

"Jennie... she went through so much in her life. She deserves something far greater than what this life had given her. And I wanted to... give her the life she deserves." Lisa exhales heavily.

 

"But you do know that sometimes we aren't capable of doing that?" Seulgi tells her, voice gentle and careful. Offering a comforting pat on Lisa's shoulder.

 

"Yeah..." Lisa says, shoulders slumping and brows frowning at the sadness of reality. "But I wish I could..."

 

Chaeyoung was nowhere to be found, she’s probably finding the memory links and the memento. Jisoo thinks she's quite too invested in her job, too invested in finishing what should be done, which she thinks kind of sucks. She understands her partner's passion and determination but there are times where it swallows her whole and she misses these kinds of conversations that could tell how Lisa (or their previous patients, for that matter) really is as a person before grief enters her life. She's missing out on the story their patient offers intentionally and whole-heartedly. The stories patients offer are also a paramount part of their job, granting their death wish is just another.

 

The older doctor averts her gaze back to the scene happening in front of her. She sighs sadly, the empathy slowly seeping in her skin. "There's a long way to go before we unravel your story. But I'm pretty sure you did your best to give your wife the happiness she deserved." She tells her patient, even though she can't see or hear her, but it's fine she just wanted to show her appreciation for the old woman's effort. She wonders if Lisa ever received any recognition or some sort of appreciation for trying to fulfill her role.

 

Jisoo continues her steps, walking toward the stairs to follow her partner's path. Ignoring the growing lump in her throat as the sadness of Lisa's story slowly manifests.

 

"You're taking a little too long." Chaeyoung comments. "I thought you wanted to get over this as soon as possible?"

 

"eh, I changed my mind." Jisoo shrugs. "I'm losing the essence of why I applied for this job in the first place."

 

"what do you mean?"

 

"well, I'm a technician, which is my job." Jisoo shrugs nonchalantly. "But the real reason I applied for Sigmund is because of the stories the patients have, and growing up I've always loved stories, novels, and books." Jisoo shares openly. Which is a rare moment, the few years Chaeyoung has known her partner she never properly discussed herself and the past she has. She's always Doctor Kim Jisoo, the arrogant, sarcastic, and annoying partner she unluckily is accompanied with. Jisoo had always kept that facade, so it's the only side Chaeyoung knows really well.

 

"You know, if I had not been a doctor in Sigmund I would've loved to become a scriptwriter in movies and films." Jisoo smiles at the dream she'd buried a long time ago.

 

"and enough about that," she quickly changes the topic. "let's go?" she looks at Chaeyoung for approval and the latter nods silently, she's still somewhat caught up about what Jisoo shared. It's too personal and she barely gets to step into that uncharted territory in Jisoo's boggling yet kept life.

 

Their devices scanned the red carnation situated nicely on the nightstand beside Jennie. The option for traversing into another chapter of their patient's memory popped up on the screen after Jisoo finished punching the code in. Both doctors tapped it without a doubt and then whoosh, they're being sent to another memory that's waiting to be unraveled.

 

_Lisa Manoban - 66 years old_

 

Opening their eyes they found themselves still in the same lot where Lisa's recent house is located. The familiar and heady feeling of the serene breeze and the scent of the ocean engulfs them.

 

The house is still in the same place, the only difference is that it's still in construction. The foundation of the house is the only thing that is standing tall and strong. Different sizes of wood and metal chunks are neatly put on the sides, the same with the plethora of bricks that would be one of the house's main details later on. 

 

They saw the carnation memento being brought by a woman who just got out of her car, who seemed the same age as Lisa, but nevertheless she probably looked stunning and beautiful in her youthful days.

 

And speaking of Lisa, where the hell is their patient?

 

As the unknown elder woman closed the door of her car another woman pops out of the vehicle, who is much more younger (maybe she's in her late 20s, Jisoo presumes), immediately helping the elderly in her steps.

 

"Ma, do you want me to carry the carnations instead?" the younger woman asks politely and with a kind smile on her face.

 

"It's fine Yeri, I can handle this." the older woman says.

 

Then out of nowhere, they see Lisa pop out in the scene. It seems that she went to admire the ocean behind the humungous house.

 

"Joohyun!" their patient shouts happily. "you also brought my goddaughter." she smiles a thousand-watt smile, and if Chaeyoung and Jisoo didn't know any better they would've assumed she's doing alright.

 

Lisa gives her two guests a tight hug. When she pulls away she turns to look at the girl named Yeri, "it's been a while since I've seen you. Hope you're doing fine."

 

"Life's going great so far. I just became a producer and composer in a music company, auntie." Yeri enthusiastically shares.

 

"that's amazing, sweetie. Just update me with new music and I'll listen to it right away." Lisa tells her with the same amount of excitement.

 

"and thank you for the flowers, Hyun." Lisa averts her attention to the other woman. "Jennie would love this."

 

"I'm sure she would." her friend smiles.

 

The three of them went to sit on the wooden plane of the unfinished house. Yeri helping both the elder women to sit comfortably.

 

"how's the house by the way?" Joohyun asks Lisa.

 

"it's going fine." the latter simply replied. Her voice plain and monotone, like she isn't interested to talk about it at all.

 

"what about auntie Jennie? I've heard what happened to her. Will she be okay?" Yeri asks, careful and precise not wanting to rub salt on the fresh wound.

 

"She's diagnosed a little too late. But they say it's treatable." Lisa tells them, there's doubtfulness in her weary voice. "but the bills..." her voice falters and sobs slowly build up in her throat. "we can barely afford her medical treatment."

 

Joohyun holds her hand, her thumb caressing the back of her hand, trying to soothe this brewing pain inside of her friend. Yeri quietly watches the two women who have been important in her life go through another hardship. She watches one of her favorite people choke on tears and she feels bad because she knows she couldn't quite do anything to take the pain away from Lisa.

 

Lisa tries to compose herself, breathing in and out to calm the storm raging inside of her. "hearing that she'll be okay sort of lifts the heaviness of it all, you know?" Lisa explains, voice slowly crumbling. 

 

"I think being able to finish this house is impossible now," Lisa says, disappointed at the odds that's been happening to her. "but this place means so much to her. And she'd be heartbroken if she hears the news."

 

Yeri then interferes, "I'll help, auntie!" she blurts out. The two elder women looked at her with a startled look on their faces. Jisoo notices that she's willing, no matter what it takes.

 

Chaeyoung couldn't bear these types of scenes, she didn't want to get emotionally attached to the people in Lisa's life and Lisa herself. It would only pain her if dilemmas are shoved in her face. And she was never really good at choosing sides, or decisions. Emotions interfere with jobs, and she didn't want that. So, she taps Jisoo's shoulder and tells her she'll find the memento.

 

"If you want to listen... just do." She tells her partner, her tone is soft. "but for the love of God, don't let it affect you." Chaeyoung says, clear and firm, she pats her partner's back comfortingly then she leaves.

 

Jisoo didn't budge at all, her sole focus was the scene rolling in front of her.

 

Lisa looks at her goddaughter and shakes her head. "no, Yeri. You have a life, I don't want to interfere. I don't want anyone's money." Lisa tells them, anger and frustration seeping in her skin.

 

"But auntie, please. I want to help you and auntie Jennie, please-" Yeri was cut off.

 

"I don't want to." Lisa almost shouts, there's a bite in her voice. Yeri does shut up and becomes quiet. Then Lisa immediately softens when she realizes what she had done.

 

"Lisa!" Joohyun scolds her friend. "and Yeri," she looks at her daughter, giving her a warning glare. Jisoo thinks it might be the scariest look she's ever seen. "don't just easily make impulsive decisions. This isn't your problem to solve."

 

Yeri glares at her mother, tears already forming in her eyes, she's biting her lower lip to stop herself from answering back to the woman. Jisoo could tell she's just as angry as Lisa.

 

Lisa notices the rising outburst of the younger girl, "Yeri, it's okay. I'll find a way." she tells her, hoping it would calm her down and soothe her. But Yeri wasn't convinced, not even an ounce.

 

"I'm just afraid to lose aunt Jennie!" Yeri shouts, looking between her mother and aunt. "I don't want to lose an important person in my life!" she sobs and leaves the two elder women, running away toward the back of the house.

 

"Yeri!" her mother calls out. She would've chased her but her old age wouldn't let her.

 

Lisa shakes her head, pinching the bridge of her nose hoping it would ease her.

 

"what are you gonna do now?" Joohyun queried, her voice awfully quiet.

 

"I'm gonna tell her we're going to make it. I don't want her to do anything crazy." Lisa replies wearily.

 

"you shouldn't do that..." she tells her, voice stern.

 

" You don't understand, Joohyun!" Lisa cries, pulling her hand away from her friend's hold so she could cover her face. "If she finds out, you damn well know what she would choose."

 

"So what?"

 

Lisa stares at her, offended at what she heard from her friend of many years.

 

Joohyun then rolls her eyes and sighs. "If she chooses not to save herself for the sake of this place, so be it." she tells Lisa, melancholy clings to her voice as well. "if that's what she really wants then we shouldn't stop her."

 

"you want her to be happy right? even in her last breath?" the latter asks.

 

Lisa nods.

 

"then give her what she wants. I've known Jennie my whole life, and I don't want to lose her too, " Joohyun pauses, defeatedly looking up at the beautiful orange sky above her. "but knowing her, she's more sentimental than any of us, she values even the little things with her whole heart like her life depended on it."

 

"So, please, Lisa..." she pleads.

 

There's a brief moment of silence before Lisa's _'no'_ omitted the quiet ambiance. Lisa shakes her head angrily, "what about me?!" she gestures at herself. Her voice strained, expression pinched.

 

"This isn't just about her, Joohyun." Lisa says, her voice wavering. "Am I not allowed to be selfish, just for once? I don't want to be alone, Hyun."

 

"I don't want her to die." Lisa stands up from her seat, determined to do everything just to save her wife and this house.

 

"now that's just arrogant." Jisoo rolls her eyes.

 

"you're being selfish, Lisa." Joohyun stands up too, voice stern as ever, hands on her hips authoritatively.

 

"Thank you." Jisoo comments, praising the woman for having the same thoughts as her.

 

"Whatever," Lisa grumbles. "I'm going to pick something from this cliff and give it to her. That would at least give her some comfort."

 

"Still, that doesn't make what you're doing any less wrong." Joohyun counters.

 

Then Lisa leaves the space where her friend is. The latter can't help but sigh at the mess that's happening right now.

 

"I wonder what's happening to Yeri..." Jisoo whispers and decides to find her.

 

She finds her at the back of the house, she's sitting on the ground while hugging her knees tightly. Her eyes are closed as the ocean breeze engulfs her in, Jisoo notices a teardrop caress her cheeks, slowly sliding to her lips then tasting its saltiness.

 

"Hey..." She hears Lisa's faint voice.

 

"tsk, tsk, tsk." Jisoo shakes her head. "let her be, sis."

 

"I'm sorry..." Lisa tells her goddaughter. Sitting beside her but keeping a comfortable distance beside Yeri.

 

"It's fine." Yeri opens her eyes and looks at the woman beside her. "I'm just as afraid as you losing auntie."

 

"I know... I shouldn't have yelled at you. The pressure and frustration are taking a toll on my disintegrating body."

 

Yeri laughs at that, "auntie..." her voice trails off, but it didn't sound as blue, unlike earlier. She leans her head on Lisa's shoulder. "I'm afraid to lose you both. And mom Hyun, and mom Seulgi too. You guys are old as fuck." Yeri comments, earning a smack from Lisa.

 

Jisoo stifles her laugh.

 

"you still are the little spawn of satan the four of us raised." Lisa laughs, hugging Yeri close to her.

 

"that will never change." Yeri smiles and closes her eyes once again. Enjoying the warmth Lisa will always give her.

 

"You still wear that necklace?" Lisa asks as she notices the golden jewelry hanging on Yeri's neck.

 

"I never took it off. Ever since you gave it to me." Yeri nods her head, holding the jewelry with so much care.

 

"I found all the memory links, we just need the memento." Chaeyoung's voice suddenly rang through Jisoo's ear. The girl was panting like she just ran a marathon.

 

"I might have found it..." Jisoo says. As she looks at the flickering necklace in the distance.

 

"Where then?" Chaeyoung asks, walking towards her.

 

"It must be the necklace Yeri's wearing." Jisoo points at the necklace that is now unclasped.

 

"What are we waiting for? let's keep moving." Chaeyoung says, pulling her toward the memento.

 

Their devices scanned the necklace and it was indeed the memento they needed to hop to the next memory. Before Jisoo could even blink the light swallowed her again.

 


	7. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is kinda a crack chapter lol. Just to lighten up the mood of this fic. It was fun writing this.

_Lisa Manoban - 52 years old_

 

Jisoo slowly flutters her eyes open, her consciousness slowly but surely coming back to her. "Urgh," she grumbles under her breath, feeling an ache in her back for some reason. She finally opens her eyes and the first thing she sees is the sun and the sky above her, completely blinding her eyes.

 

"What the fuck?" She mutters, squinting her eyes and blocking the light with her hand from seeping in. It took her a brief moment before she realizes she's laying down—she can't quite tell where she is— on something soft yet feels like a hard surface. Is this...sand? She thinks to herself as she wiggles like a worm to feel what type of ground she's lying on. She could feel grainy materials on her back.

 

"What the hell are you doing?" The blonde stepping in on Jisoo's sight. She sees Chaeyoung looking down at her with that questioning yet grimacing expression Jisoo got accustomed to. Jisoo diverts her gaze from the sky above her to look at her partner.

 

"I'm feeling what I'm laying on." Jisoo replies simply, continuing her movement.

 

"You could just stand up and see it for yourself." Chaeyoung suggests, her voice plain and riled, raising an eyebrow at her. 

 

"Where's the fun in that?"

 

"Whatever, be the dingus that you are. I don't care anymore." Chaeyoung tells her, completely burnt out from this job and her partner, she walks away from Jisoo's line of sight.

 

Jisoo just rolls her eyes and decided to sit up. She takes in the view in front of her, they were at a beach, she could see the boundary of this place not so far away, the empty white looking canvas of the memory’s boundary glowing in its glory. She looks down and she was right, it was sand. She smiles to herself while picking up a handful of the grainy material and watches it dissipate in the gaps between her fingers. She then stands up and dusted the sand that's stuck to her pants and her lab coat.

 

"Chaeng!" She calls out for her partner.

 

"What?" She sees Chaeyoung a few feet away from her, curiously poking the holes that the little crabs made on the sand with a twig.

 

"Have you seen Lisa anywhere?"

 

"Not really. I haven't roamed around yet. I was waiting for you to wake up." She explains but her attention is glued to the holes, still poking it with her stick.

 

"Well, we should find her then," Jisoo tells her, ambling toward her direction. "And stop bothering the crabs." She takes the stick out of Chaeyoung's hands and throws it away.

 

"Hey!" Chaeyoung glares at her. Jisoo thinks she looked like a child who just got her favorite toy stolen from her.

 

Jisoo rolls her eyes and holds out her hand for Chaeyoung to take, which the girl gladly did, and helped her stand up.

 

Both of the doctors started roaming around. The place wasn't filled with people at all, there is barely a trace of any individuals who walked around the place. They saw a car parked not so far away from where they woke up from. So, without any other choice, they walked where the vehicle is, hoping that their patient would be there.

 

They saw 5 people get out of the car. It's Joohyun, Seulgi, Lisa, Jennie, and then Yeri. They looked younger compared to the last memory. The four adults still looked weary and old but there's still a sprinkle of youth in their faces. And Yeri looked younger, she looked like a teenager in this year—maybe about 14 or 15 years old. The young girl animatedly circled around the beach, running everywhere she desired to go to, Joohyun could only sigh at her hyper daughter knowing damn well know that she couldn't let her behave even if she's the authoritative one between them. Both of the doctors laughed at the interaction between the two.

 

Jisoo checks her device to see what timeline they're in. "Lisa's in her 50s. That was sort of a huge leap compared to the last ones."

 

"Yeah, it really is." Chaeyoung nods her head. "We're almost in her childhood days, just a few more timelines left." Chaeyoung giddily claps her hands.

 

"Why are you suddenly excited?" Jisoo looks at her, face shaped into a puzzled expression. 

 

"I can't wait for our job to be finished so I can finally sleep in my bed." Chaeyoung dreamily says.

 

"I mean, having a decent sleep sounds nice." Jisoo agrees.

 

"You guys go ahead, I'll get our other things here," Lisa shout at Joohyun and Seulgi who held up a thumbs up, Yeri is already on their designated area waiting impatiently for the adults.

 

"hurry up!" Yeri shouted at them.

 

"Where are your manners, you child?!" Joohyun shouts back, her tone louder than her daughter's. Seulgi could only shake her head and chuckle at the two people that completes her world.

 

"Do you think she would like this?" Lisa turns to her wife, a hesitant and nervous look on her face as she shows Jennie the golden necklace.

 

"So, that's where our last memento came from." Chaeyoung comments, quietly observing the scene.

 

Jennie gives her a soft assuring smile and held her hand, "she will." she says. Unlike the older Jennie from Lisa's previous memory who spoke so quietly, almost as if she's whispering, this is the first time she heard Jennie speak normally. Chaeyoung thinks it's the most soothing voice she has ever heard in her entire life. Her tone sounded like it overflows with honey and everything that's saccharine. She really was enticed by it.

 

"Jennie seems healthy in this timeline." her partner's voice suddenly rang through her ear, washing every bit of Jennie's voice away.

 

"Yeah, she does." Chaeyoung agrees, never taking her eyes away from the couple. "why do you think the memory leap became that expansive, unlike the other ones?" she wonders aloud.

 

"Personally, I think Lisa didn't remember, or wanted to remember, finding out about Jennie's weak condition in their older age. I'm pretty sure it did bring a lot of pain and anger." Jisoo replies. "the machine can read the patient's feelings when it comes to those kinds of scenes. And it depends on the machine if it wanted us to go there or not. But there are times where we needed to explore a memory that Lisa wanted to forget because it could be a significant memory that made such a huge impact on our patient."

 

"Yeri has so much love for you. She would treasure everything you'd give her." Jennie adds sincerely, no intentions of sugarcoating just to ease her wife's worry.

 

Lisa smiles at Jennie, her eyes forming crescents, her anxiety slowly dissolving. "I believe you." Lisa gives her wife a sweet peck. "let's go now?" she asks, her head turns at the direction where Irene, Seulgi, and Yeri is. Jennie nods and they ambled towards their friends-who they consider their family-hand in hand.

 

"you know, moments like these make you think that they didn't experience the sadness and the unfairness life brings." Jisoo starts, already following their patient's lead. "but getting to watch them in Lisa's previous and recent memories, you'd know without a doubt that their future holds nothing but that. And who knows what happened in the older memories we're yet to explore."

 

"you know, you should stop wondering about thoughts like that," Chaeyoung tells her, her voice plain and monotonous. The blonde stops in her tracks and turns to her partner, her gaze firm and steeled, "it'll only lead you to empathy that will soon turn into attachment. And you know well enough that we don't want that to happen."

 

Jisoo feels like she's being scolded for being human, for feeling things that are normal to feel when it comes to scenarios like this. But she nods anyway, her partner has a point though. "you're right. I should stop."Chaeyoung notices the emptiness in Jisoo's voice again which sounded so unlikely like her partner.

 

Chaeyoung nods and continues walking towards their patient, who was busy setting up the table and the chairs.

 

"Yeri, please don't go too far!" they heard Joohyun shout once again loud and clear, even from a distance.

 

"Damn, she has pipes. Even with that height of hers."Jisoo chuckles, completely surprised by the shorter woman's ability.

 

Chaeyoung stifles her laugh at the comment, she hates to admit that it was actually funny. "you say that as if you're that tall."

 

Jisoo whips her head at her partner, expression completely offended. "that's a foul!"

 

"Whatever!" Chaeyoung laughs loudly and continues to walk, ignoring her partner's blabbering, though a small smile is etched on her lips. Jisoo follows her, arms crossed on her chest and a frown on her face.

 

"Aish! that kid I'm telling you," Joohyun rants, her accent manifesting. Seulgi listens to her wife, her gaze soft and charmed. They see teenager Yeri running away from them to get to the ocean, sprinting like she's in a racing competition.

 

"these friends are whipped as hell." Jisoo retorts, gesturing between Lisa and Seulgi. "like Joohyun could turn into a rifle spitting out incoherent words just to release her frustration and Seulgi," Jisoo pauses and points an accusing finger at the starstruck woman. "would still look at her wife like she's singing a dulcet melody.

 

"she came from me but she acts so opposite of me. I've been a good child all my life, and I'm still wondering what the hell did I do for the heavens to give me a child that acts like a little demon." Joohyun continues to rant while helping Jennie prepare other things they'd be needing for their beach picnic, like the table cloth and the food. Jennie looks at her best friend of many years with an entertained gaze, stifling a laugh to erupt from her mouth.

 

"Aish! I'm not getting any younger and Yeri isn't helping me maintain the little bit of youth I have left." Joohyun's now flailing her hands in the air as if it'll describe her frustration detailedly. "and Seulgi," she gives her wife an accusing glare.

 

"what'd I do?" the look of admiration in Seulgi's eyes immediately turned into a look of confusion.

 

Jennie and Lisa give each other a knowing glance, both of them stifling their laughter.

 

"you don't even scold our daughter for her rowdy behavior. You're always letting her do whatever she wants and most of the time you're always engaging with her crazy ideas." the short woman now has her hands on her hips, looking intimidating as ever. "like that one time where I came home to you two recreating old vines."

 

"what?! I would love to see that." Jisoo's mouth is agape and her eyes bulge out.

 

"let's find a way to dig that up. I want to laugh my ass off." Chaeyoung tells her partner. She's enjoying the bantering that's happening right now.

 

"but it was funny, though..." Seulgi reasons out, her voice small.

 

"It wasn't for me," her wife huffs out. "you got stuck on top of the fridge after yelling "this house is a fucking nightmare" while our daughter just continued laughing her guts out while she's splayed on the floor. She wasn't even doing anything to get you down." she yells at Seulgi who looks like a scolded child right now. Joohyun feels like she's taking care of two children instead of one, a spawn of Satan while the other (her wife that is) is as gullible as a little kid. Sometimes Joohyun couldn't distinguish who's the actual child between the two.

 

"Yeri said it had a lot of views on youtube, and it got a lot of likes and retweets on twitter. It was all over social media." Seulgi tells her wife, it sounded like she's talking in tiny fonts.

 

"But you two knew I had an interview the other day for the upcoming movie I starred in. When the interviewer showed a clip of the vines you recreated I felt like my soul just left my body because of the embarrassment." the latter scoffs, massaging her temple after she let all that out.

 

"I'm sorry, Irene..." Seulgi apologizes sincerely, she finally looks up at Irene (probably Joohyun's other name), eyes averting from the ground to let her wife know that she's really sorry, she has the most adorable puppy eyes.

 

"Irene?" The two doctors said in unison, giving each other a knowing glance.

 

"Isn't that... one of the famous actresses back in the day?" Jisoo asks, remembering that one old overrated movie everyone was suggesting to watch. "I mean, from what I know Korea doesn't have that many actresses named Irene." 

 

"That's why she looked familiar..." Chaeyoung mumbles, looking into the horizon, processing the newly found information. 

 

"Okay, I'm good." The actress then smiles at her wife and the couple who was clearly dying of laughter, her mood immediately shifted in a complete 360 degrees, from an angry rifle earlier to a woman with a beaming smile. "now let's enjoy Yeri's birthday!"

 

"Okay, so what I got from that is: Joohyun is _The Bae Irene_ , one of the well-known actress. She and Seulgi raised a little demon, named Yeri. Seulgi is always the victim when it comes to Yeri's mischievous and crazy ideas. And Irene doesn't get to breathe because of how chaotic her wife and daughter is." Jisoo summarizes all that's happened. "wow, that's a lot to take in."

 

"I still can't believe I didn't get to recognize that Joohyun is _Bae Irene_. She's literally one of the lead actresses in one of my old favorite movies." Chaeyoung sighs, feeling guilty all of a sudden. 

 

"So..." Seulgi's voice echoed, directing her attention only towards Lisa. "you guys are really going for it, huh?" Seulgi says, only for her friend to hear. Their wives are busy perfecting the table and decorations for Yeri's birthday.

 

"yep, it's a lot of work, though," Lisa answers, a smile on her face. "I'm not sure when's the construction going to start. Maybe a few years, I hope. Jennie and I are still saving up for that house." Lisa steals a glance at her wife, eyes filled with hope.

 

"but isn't the house too big for only the both of you? it's gonna cost a lot." Seulgi says worriedly.

 

"but Jennie designed that house, though. It's her dream house." Lisa says, there's a tone of sadness laced in her voice. "I want her to at least have that, Seul. No matter what it takes. It's been her dream for us ever since we got married."

 

"but isn't Jennie's company facing bankruptcy?" Seulgi says, carefully picking her words. She didn't want to further shove the reality to her best friend's face.

 

"Is it in the documents what Jennie's job was?" Jisoo asked, feeling like she's being left behind.

 

"yeah, I forgot to tell you she was an architect." Chaeyoung replies. 

 

"I know... but," Lisa groans, the consequences boggling her head. "just believe in me for now. In a few years, we'll be able to start building our dream house." Lisa smiles, trying to hide the hesitation. Seulgi's not a hundred percent convinced, but if her best friend needs support and a person to believe in her abilities Seulgi will gladly give her that. Seulgi has always been there for her friend since then.

 

"they're somehow struggling when it comes to financial things even at this timeline. Then why do they keep pushing themselves just for the sake of that house?" Jisoo frustratingly blurts out. "make it make sense!" she groans.

 

"calm down, we'll find the answers soon. So, we should start finding memory links and the memento."

 

Lisa watches her wife play volleyball with Yeri, the doctors turned their heads at Lisa's line of sight. Though Yeri's an energetic and hyper kid she plays the sport with so much control, carefully serving the ball towards Jennie. The woman barely delivered the ball back to Yeri, always missing it in the process. The two doctors could see the frustration in her kind features. It's clear that Jennie has poor body coordination.

 

"I'm sorry." They hear Jennie apologize, disappointment laced in her voice.

 

"It's fine, auntie." Yeri beams at her. "I enjoy playing with you nevertheless. I'll just help you improve." Yeri assures her, voice kind and comforting. A small smile shaping on Jennie's lips.

 

The scene warms the doctors' hearts.

 

"you know, I have a good idea." Jisoo turns to her partner, a small grin on her face. 

 

There were a solid ten seconds of silence that draped the atmosphere. Then Chaeyoung simply asked, confusion written on her eyes, "what?"

 

"Wanna play in the sea?" Jisoo says, looking like an excited child. Her smile reminds Chaeyoung of Yeri's own beaming smile. 

 

Chaeyoung opened her mouth, ready to argue, but then immediately closed it. It wouldn't hurt to clear your mind from the tiring job they're in. "well," the blonde said slowly, Jisoo stares at her, anticipating and the smile never leaving her face. "It's not bad to take our mind off of things, isn't it?" she rhetorically asks, Jisoo's still anticipating for Chaeyoung's answer. It's funny because the older doctor has the freedom to just run into the sea without Chaeyoung's permission but she's standing in front of her waiting for her consent just so she could play in the water. Chaeyoung finds it silly, but it makes her feel that her say, or _her_ perhaps, matter.

 

"I don't see why not." she smiles and Jisoo cheers for a brief second before she kicks off her shoes and starts tearing off her socks haphazardly, then unceremoniously flinging them onto the ground. 

 

"Aish! Jisoo don't just fling them anywhere. You'll have a hard time finding them later on." Chaeyoung scolded her partner, picking up her socks then stuffing them inside her shoes. 

 

The older doctor just ignores her, rolling the bottom of her pants to her knees, taking her lab coat off and throws it on the ground next to her shoes and without another word she runs to the marvelous sea like the excited child that she is.

 

Sighing, Chaeyoung shakes her head at the latter's antics, even if Jisoo gets tiring to take care of because she's a handful, she finds herself smiling warmly at the playful side of her partner. It seemed like she never experienced being a child in her whole life, like the youth she has was kept growing up and in moments like this is where she could only set them free.

 

Chaeyoung carefully set her footwear on the sandy ground, rolling the bottom of her pants just above her knees and slides off her lab coat to follow her partner's trails. 

 

She took careful steps toward the blue water, it was cold at first but it eventually became warm, matching the temperature of the weather. It was really weird, how _real_ everything felt in the memories. To be able to touch objects, to be able to interact with people if they want to, to taste food and drinks and taste just the same as they are in the real world, to feel the wind blowing at their faces, to feel exactly the different types of weather, and being able to connect with the people inside the patient's mind even if you never saw them in your entire life. Everything was virtual, and it would remain that way, none of those things would affect their bodies in the real world, the sensations they were feeling right now is just generated by the Sigmund Corp. Machine to feel-strictly just in the memory per se. 

 

But, everything felt real, if Chaeyoung hadn't known any better she would know this is the reality she's been living in. She would allow herself to lose focus, or forget that she's on her job. But she had always kept a grip on what was real and what was not, she had that rule already engraved inside her head as soon as she got the job in Sigmund. That's why she's better at handling herself when it comes to the attachment that manifests once you slowly unfold your patient's memories.

 

Chaeyoung just stands in her place, water barely reaching her shin. She lets her toes dig into the sand, feeling a sense of serenity seep inside her. She watches her partner run until the water reached her knee, jumping in delight every once in a while just to see the water splash. 

 

Jisoo would've gone farther, but she remembers Chaeyoung. Her head instantly whipping at the sight of her friend. "Chaeng!" she yells, catching the blonde's attention.

 

Before Chaeyoung could reply she sees Jisoo running towards her, once she's near enough she grabs the younger doctor's hand and starts pulling her with her to the water further. 

 

"Jisoo!" Chaeyoung yells, fighting the latter's strength from pulling her. "I'm scared of the ocean!" she yells again, slapping the hands wrapped around her wrists.

 

"I'm here with you." Jisoo chuckles. "you don't have to be afraid." she says softly, halting from pulling her partner. Chaeyoung stops fighting back, a frown contorted on her face, looking at Jisoo with a doubt. The older girl gives her an assuring smile and that's what it took for her to give in. 

 

Jisoo carefully guided her further, Chaeyoung taking careful steps. Feeling Jisoo's hand squeezing hers encouragingly making her strides slowly become confident. They continue to move further until the water reached their waist. 

 

"how are you feeling?" Jisoo asks. 

 

"oddly liberating." Chaeyoung replies, a small smile on her face. She fixed her gaze at the horizon in front of her. Captivated at the beauty it holds. She wished she could take a picture of it. The scene had a soothing effect, making her forget about the pressure of this job it gives her.

 

She then turned her head to look at Jisoo, curious about what expression shaped on the latter's face. To her surprise, her partner wasn't looking at the iridescent view in front of them, but she was looking at her with a soft glint in her eyes, as if the view she was admiring earlier was on her very own face. Once their eyes connected Jisoo quickly became flustered, pulling her hand from Chaeyoung's own. The blonde could see a faint blush spreading on her cheeks. 

 

There was a sickening long pause.

 

"why were you staring?"

 

Jisoo coughs obnoxiously, "Uhm... nothing at all." 

 

"I swear if there's something on my face." Chaeyoung could feel the jitters slowly crawling. She was the type of person that could get spook easily. She abhors bugs and insects and other creatures that look like an abomination in this world. Every time an insect, especially cockroaches, somehow gets lost into her and Jisoo's office she would scream and jump like a madwoman. Jisoo would laugh at her first before she gets rid of the damned cockroaches. 

 

"Nothing! there's nothing on your face. Calm down!" Jisoo tells her, releasing a sigh. 

 

Chaeyoung's heart is still beating fast, still nervous of a possible creature crawling on her face. Jisoo was looking at her seriously, making her think there was something there. She gathers water into the palm of her hands and splashed it unto Jisoo's face. "that's for scaring me." she whines.

 

"what the hell?" Jisoo looks at her offended, as if she got accused of a crime she never did. "you scared yourself!" she threw more water at Chaeyoung. 

 

The action causing the blonde to gasp, glaring at Jisoo then she splashed her again, this time she pushed the water beneath her waist with force causing a small wave to hit Jisoo. The older doctor looks down at her body and sees that her chest is now soaked, she slowly looks up at Chaeyoung and does the same. Splashes of water were exchanged between the two, then eventually laughter erupted from their mouths. Chaeyoung's playful side emerged and started to drown the panic she was feeling earlier. The splashes of water then turned into mischievous ones, now it felt like they were just playing in the water, as if they're on vacation. 

 

The younger doctor whirled around and began to make her escape. Her long legs were an advantage, thank god, because she was now near the shore and a few feet away from Jisoo. But before her feet touched the dry sand she feels arms wrapping around her tightly, not tight enough to hurt her but tight enough to give an impression of an...urgency? a restraint? Chaeyoung isn't sure, because she knew it's not a back hug because she damn well knows her partner. And Jisoo doesn't give her back hugs, she never did. 

 

Then Jisoo wrestles her on the ground, laughter still erupting from her mouth. Normally, this kind of occurrences would annoy Chaeyoung and push her to her limit to punch the person, but what she's feeling right now is so carefree and light, the laughter that erupts from her too makes everything better. 

 

"Admit defeat!" Jisoo demanded with her most menacing voice that Chaeyoung just finds funny.

 

"Never!" she shouts and changes their position. Now, she's sitting on Jisoo's back putting all her weight on the shorter woman, who started wiggling from the restraint. 

 

It took a minute for Jisoo to finally give in, releasing an exhausted sigh, "okay, okay! you win..." she mumbles and Chaeyoung cheers, finally standing up and releasing the latter. 

 

Jisoo just slumped on the ground, she sort of just hang there, limp as a dead fish. 

 

Silence replaced the cacophony of laughter that hanged in the air. Jisoo slowly regained her breath and strength, slowly sitting down on the dry sand. Their clothes are soaked, feeling a little chilly because of the wind despite the sun being there. 

 

"We should get going." Chaeyoung's voice echoes, omitting the stillness and silence. She helped Jisoo to stand up from the ground. They both walked towards where their lab coats and shoes are. Putting them on as fast as possible, once Chaeyoung slides in her labcoat her thoughts quickly shifted into their job, the feeling of being carefree was now gone and was replaced by seriousness. Wearing the labcoat makes her shift into a different person. While Jisoo is still the same, the only difference is that she's tired. 

 

"We should hop on the next memory as soon as possible," Chaeyoung tells her partner, who was trailing behind her.

 

* * *

 

It took them almost 20 minutes to find the memory links, it took them longer than expected since the beach inside Lisa's head seemed too expansive unlike the other places in her previous memories.

 

"We only need the memento. What do you think it could be?" Jisoo asks her partner.

 

"What if it involves something about Yeri? Since it's her birthday today, and Lisa's attention could only be that?" Chaeyoung presumes.

 

"hmm..." Jisoo hums observing the place. "what could it be?" she whispers to herself.

 

"Ma! have you seen my Tigger?" Yeri shouts at a distance, running toward her mothers, she looked completely soaked from head to toe, water dripping from her rashguard.

 

"Yeah, it's here," Seulgi says as she fishes for the stuffed animal in their duffel bag.

 

"why do you have to bring your friend everywhere? You're already a teenager, Yeri." Irene asks, taking a bite of the carrot cake she stabbed with her fork.

 

"It may sound silly and childish but... Tigger gives me security." Yeri answers, a lop-sided smile on her face as she pats the stuffed toy on the head, which was sitting on the table. It puts a smile on Lisa's face as she watches her goddaughter cherish the stuffed animal.

 

Once she got a glimpse of her favorite stuffed animal she runs toward the ocean again shouting "YEET!", making Irene shake her head, visibly tired from the teenage shit Yeri does and say which she doesn't have an ounce of idea what it meant.

 

"Got ya." Jisoo smiles to herself when the stuffed animal flickers slightly. She walks towards it and immediately scans it using the device, punching in another different code for another different memento.

 

"You got it?" Chaeyoung shouts from a distance who was also busy searching for the memento.

 

Jisoo held up a thumbs up and the younger doctor ran as quickly as she can towards her partner. Once Chaeyoung was beside her Jisoo tapped the 'activate memento' on the screen of her tablet, wondering where they would be taken next.

 

_Lisa Manoban - 47 years old_

 

"I kind of hit my forehead." Jisoo says, rubbing the sore spot on her forehead. Chaeyoung could clearly see the red mark forming.

 

"What? How?" The blonde questioned, raising a confused eyebrow.

 

"Believe it or not I teleported in this memory laying on the ground once again. I was sort of dizzy, and I decided to sit up without opening my eyes just yet, then my forehead bumped onto something really hard," Jisoo explains. "Then I woke up realizing I was laying down underneath a car's bumper."

 

That confused look on Chaeyoung's face never left. "How the hell you got there?"

 

"I swear I don't know." Jisoo shrugs, confused as well. "This Sigmund machine might hate my ass for all I know."

 

The doctors found themselves in a parking lot of some sort of fast-food chain. There were a lot of cars at the place, there was barely any parking space.

 

"Is there a birthday?" Chaeyoung wonders, hearing loud music coming from the inside of the restaurant. She hears old pop music playing, it sounded like Ariana Grande's songs.

 

"Jennie's still quiet, huh?" They heard Seulgi's voice somewhere in the parking lot.

 

They found the two friends sitting on the pavement. Lisa's holding the stuffed Tigger while looking at the ground. Jisoo thought that the stuffed animal Yeri treasures a lot was a gift from Lisa. Jennie's right, the kid does love and treasure the things Lisa gave her.

 

"After all the years since...  _that_ happened." Seulgi emphasized. That leads to more questions for the doctors to find out.

 

"And I thought Math was hard." Jisoo huffs, her head's a mess because of all these questions which they're not sure they have an answer for and accidentally bumping her head on a car's bumper wasn't helping. 

 

"Not really she's been talkative now, which is good. I always hear her talking to Yeri about the most random things. She loves her." Lisa looks up to her friend, the corner of her lips tugging into a small yet sad smile.

 

"That's good. I'm glad Yeri somehow helps her get through that incident... that was hard for everyone." Seulgi says. The doctors are confused about why their voices are laced with sadness. _What incident are they talking about?_

 

"It was hard especially for you." Seulgi sighs heavily, patting Lisa's shoulder, offering some sort of comfort.

 

"You could still give it a go, you know?" Seulgi says. "I actually thought Irene having Yeri at that age was too late, but I was wrong."

 

"Jennie doesn't want too. She says she's scared. And I don't want to force her anything." Lisa says, melancholy draping their shoulders. "But I still want too, though. It's just..." Lisa trails off, not wanting to continue what she wants to say.

 

"Lisa," Seulgi calls her friend. "Did you tell Jennie that thing from back then?" Her voice is soft but her statement is stern.

 

"Yeah, I did. She took it quite well, though." Lisa replies, the guilt overflows in her words. The two doctors gave each other a questioning look once again. "But ever since that she started making origami rabbits. Like lots of them." Lisa says, her face contorting in a puzzled expression.

 

"What's wrong with that? I make Yeri paper rabbits all the time. She says it's her favorite." Seulgi raises her eyebrow.

 

"Our house is literally full of them. She's been making origami rabbits every day!" Lisa flails her hands in frustration, the stuffed Tigger still in her hands.

 

"Irene said that's a common trait with Jennie's syndrome."

 

"Yes, I know, but she has that distant and longing look in her eyes when I asked her. It's like she wants something from me I can't quite understand." The doctors could notice that she's just as frustrated as them. "And the strange thing is... I feel like there's something I owe her, too."

 

Before Seulgi could say something Lisa cut her off, "before you ask, I already asked Irene about it. She got nothing either."

 

"You know, don't get yourself too worked up. Just relax. What if you're just overthinking things?" Seulgi tells her.

 

"Usually when someone says that, something usually goes wrong. How ironic." Chaeyoung shakes her head.

 

"Oh, before I forgot!" Lisa blurts out, fishing something in her pocket. "Look at this." She hands Seulgi a paper.

 

"You already bought the property?!" Seulgi asks in shock, eyes wide visibly happy for her friend. "And they didn't even charge the lighthouse!"

 

"Yeah, I know. I could finally grant her wish." Lisa smiles so widely, as if she wasn't looking all forlorn minutes ago.

 

The paper flickered in the slightest but Jisoo immediately caught it. She nudged Chaeyoung and pointed at the paper, "that's the memento."

 

Chaeyoung scanned it using her device for proof and indeed it was. "Now we just need the memory links."

 

The scene they were watching repeated itself again from the very start, meaning that was all of it and they heard all of their conversations.

 

"We should get going" Jisoo announces and motions for the fast-food restaurant.

 

"So, even Lisa didn't know about the origami rabbits Jennie was too invested making." Jisoo states, opening the door of the restaurant.

 

"All the people in Lisa's memories are cryptic, my gosh." Chaeyoung heaves out a tired sigh.

 

"Oh, it's a pizza parlor." Jisoo comments, observing the place. "And it's Yeri's 10th birthday." She sees the huge HAPPY BIRTHDAY YERI! banner hanging on the center of the room and the huge number 10 balloon floating beside it. Balloons we're floating everywhere, other colorful decorations added a more aesthetic look inside the place, and she sees Ariana Grande related decorations pasted on the walls as well.

 

"Uh... so what's the theme?" Lisa asks, eyeing the place with a questioning and judging look. Jennie is beside her quietly observing the place as well, unlike Lisa she lets her eyes roam the place without any judgement residing in her eyes.

 

Irene heaves out a heavy tired sigh and nudges Seulgi to explain. "We asked Yeri what she wanted for her birthday party and she told us something about Ariana Grande's lyrics in that one song." Seulgi scratches the nape of her neck, wondering what goes on in their daughter's head.

 

"What do you mean?" Lisa queried.

 

"I think the lyrics goes something like this: "have you ever seen a princess be a bad bitch"?" Seulgi says not a hundred percent sure if she said the words right.

 

"So, Yeri is practically sprinting around looking like an intimidating aunt who looked like she just killed her rich husband." Irene finishes.

 

"Yeri is..." Chaeyoung pauses, thinking of the right word to describe the weirdest child she's ever known.

 

" _Something_ , she's something." Jisoo finishes.

 

"Yeah..." the younger doctor just agrees. No other adjective could describe Lisa's goddaughter perfectly.

 

"Finding memory links would be hard." Chaeyoung groans, seeing the crowded place. Children shouting and yelling maniacally, like this is the first time they experienced freedom. "There are lots of kids, and they're all wild." she grimaces at the little demons prancing everywhere. 

 

"Well, fuck." After Yeri blew her birthday candle a time overlap happened and kids were running everywhere and the noise they happen to create is probably the most annoying sounds Chaeyoung ever heard. It was like chaos, disaster, and destruction mashed together into one, creating the rowdiest children to ever exist.

 

"You could say _'thank you'_ and _'please'_ a million times but kids will never pick it up, but you say _'bitch ass'_ one time out of frustration-" They hear Irene's irritated voice but it became incoherent, the volume of the children's noise drowning out Irene's next sentence.

 

"Are kids really this wild?" Jisoo looks at the scene in front of her with a horrified gaze, standing in the corner looking small all of a sudden.

 

"Mom! Hyejoo and Tzuyu are staring at each other to death again!" A little girl shouted, looking at the two tall kids, who they assumed is named Tzuyu and Hyejoo, staring at each other silently with fire in their eyes.

 

"Chaeyoung! Get down from the table it's not a stage!" They see a parent trying to get her child from the table but the kid only continues to rap Nicki Minaj's verse in Side To Side.

 

"Momo stop eating like a pig!" Their gaze then shifted to Yeri who's scolding what seems like her friend who was eating a tower of pizza on her plate.

 

"Oh god, she looks like Kris Jenner." Chaeyoung remarks, palming her face at the second-hand embarrassment that crawls at the sight of the Lisa goddaughter.

 

"Chaewon! Yeojin! Stop breakdancing you'll only hurt yourself!" They see a woman with a bob cut hair trying to stop two children trying to attempt a head spin.

 

"Heejin you're not supposed to steal gifts from Yeri and give it to Hyunjin! It's not her birthday!" They heard a loud shout at the center of the place, at the table where Yeri's tower of gifts are situated. They saw a woman chasing a little girl who's Naruto running away from her.

 

"Hi... sweetie," they hear a woman walking around near the corner they're standing at, a phone near her ear and a nervous smile written on her face. "I-uh... might've lost Dahyun." She gulps heavily.

 

"You ready to go?" Jisoo asks, gulping at the sight. Chaeyoung only nods in response.

 

"3,2,1...Go!"

 

* * *

 

"You know what they say?" Jisoo nudges her partner who was as tired as her. They just got out of that rowdy crowd of kids, successfully finding all the memory links, though it took them a long time to find all of it. "Fuck them kids." The older doctor panted heavily, resting both of her hands on her knees to catch her breath.

 

"They say that?" Chaeyoung asks, pulling out a chair and immediately plopping on it. Finally resting her aching muscles.

 

"I don't know. I just heard it from our coworker yesterday." Jisoo shrugs, wiping the sweat trickling down on her forehead. "Irene must've said that once in her life, though." She says, looking at the disheveled actress sitting next to her wife. Her head is leaning on Seulgi's shoulder, while the taller woman massages Joohyun's scalp easing her boiling blood.

 

The ruckus slowly died down now that the kids are tired and slowly drowsing off to sleep. Even from the chaos that ensued earlier, there are a few kids Jisoo and Chaeyoung had remembered, despite their rowdiness and noise they found the kids' funny.

 

They see the girl named Tzuyu, who they remembered who has one of the most intimidating stare for a child, she's asleep as she leans on her mother's shoulder while holding a baby Yoda plushie. The little girl didn't look as intimidating and scary when she has her eyes closed. She actually looked adorable, with her little elf ear poking out.

 

There's Hyejoo, the girl who was in a piercing staring fit with Tzuyu, who's now smiling widely as she talks with the girl named Chaewon, the one who was attempting a head spin but before she could even put her head on the ground her mother was already dragging her away from the dance floor to give her a timeout. Hyejoo was sporting a bright smile causing her eyes to disappear and her cheeks becoming round and squishy.

 

Yeojin, one of the most chaotic (Yeri comes first) kids to ever exist was now sprawled on the floor, snoring loudly and mouth agape while saliva slowly trickles on her cheeks. She's probably off to neverland with the way she's sleeping.

 

There's that kid Momo who finishes the last slice of cake. She's been eating non-stop since earlier. _How the hell could she fit all of those in her tiny stomach?_ Was probably a pertinent question Jisoo would want to know.

 

There's Dahyun, the kid who went missing earlier, staring off the distance while wearing her airpods, completely unbothered. Her mother eventually founds her inside the staff room trying on a clown costume.

 

Then there's Yeri, the birthday girl and Irene and Seulgi's little spawn of Satan, who was conversing with Lisa and Jennie. Her eyes glimmering with wonder and adoration, and a pliable bright smile on her face that seemed permanent. It's evident that she really does love Lisa and Jennie as if they were her parents too. the two doctors could clearly see the admiration she has for the couple.

 

"I wonder how she took Jennie's death." Jisoo wonders aloud. These kinds of questions kept forming in her head, even if Chaeyoung already told her to stop. But how could she though? After seeing the bond and the love these people shared and experienced with their patient she couldn't stop herself but theorize the loopholes and gaps of the story. "And Lisa's upcoming farewell too..."

 

"Jisoo..." Chaeyoung looks at her, her gaze unwavering and firm. She didn't have to say anything for Jisoo to know what she meant.

 

"What?" Jisoo queried, somehow getting frustrated at Chaeyoung for being a hindrance. "After seeing this," she gesticulates at the family-she calls them a family now (she decided to call them that after the beach memory). "C'mon, Chaeng, be honest. You can't help but wonder too."

 

"I do wonder, Soo!" Chaeyoung exclaims.

 

"Why are you mad?!" Jisoo answers back with the same tone.

 

"I am not!"

 

"Why are we shouting then?!"

 

Chaeyoung quietly grumbles and runs a hand on her face. "Anyway," she dismisses the useless bickering they would fall into.

 

"I have thoughts exactly the same as you." She admits. "But I don't dwell on them as much as you do."

 

"And I thought I was the one with the hard-ass exterior." Jisoo remarks.

 

"You know what I'll hop on the next memory. I don't want to argue with you. It'd be a waste of time only." Chaeyoung tells her, holding both of her hands in the air as if she's surrendering. "You stay a little while if you want. I'll just wait for you there." Chaeyoung leaves before she could reply.

 

"I'm supposed to be the one acting like a hard-ass!" Jisoo shouts at the nothingness, Chaeyoung already fled away to go to the next memory, her gaze still fixated to the direction of Chaeyoung's trail. "Fine! I'll search for the answers by myself then!" She stomps away, exiting the restaurant. Grumbling incoherent words or maybe even curses under her breath.

 

A time overlap suddenly happened the moment Jisoo stepped out of the pizza parlor. She sees Jennie and Yeri sitting on the pavement just outside the restaurant, talking quietly to one another. Her gaze roamed around, trying to find where their patient is hiding.

 

"Lisa, why'd you have to eavesdrop? This'll probably sting." Jisoo whines.

 

"Aunt Jennie..." Yeri chirps out. She's already out of that horrid costume she wore earlier, now she's just in regular clothes, clothes that children are supposed to wear.

 

This scene might've happened after the party.

 

"Hm?" Jennie hums, wearing a smile she only reserved for the child. She tucks a lock of the child's hair hanging on her face in her ear. 

 

"How come you and auntie Lisa never had a kid?" Yeri asks innocently.

 

Jennie hesitates to answer for a moment, pursing her lips nervously and dejectedly staring at the ground.

 

Yeri notices the complete shift of her demeanor. "You don't have to answer if you don't want-" she was cut off by Jennie.

 

"I was scared." the woman chirps out. "Actually, still am." Her voice is quiet as always.

 

"Why?" Yeri queries. Jisoo wondering the same question.

 

"I think I'm a bad parent..." Jennie admits, eyes glistening.

 

"I don't think you are." Yeri gives her a small assuring smile. "I love you. If I don't love you then you are indeed bad at taking care of a kid." She replies without any filter. Jisoo wonders what goes on in this child's mind, but she has a point.

 

Jennie chuckles at that. "You are funny."

 

"I know." Yeri beams. "I think I should be a variety show host when I grow up."

 

The two continued to talk but their words are slowly being distorted and Jisoo's unable to understand what they're talking about. The doctor catches a glimpse of her client, walking away discreetly from the scene. She notices the sob that's waiting to erupt from Lisa.

 

"You shouldn't have eavesdropped, Lisa." She calls her out. "Now we're both sad." The doctor complains. Without further a do Jisoo walks away from the scene to hop onto the next memory, the thought of her partner waiting for her immediately shot through her mind. Jisoo could picture the impatient look on her face.

 

"Scared, huh?" Jisoo mumbles, Jennie's small voice ringing in her ears, theorizing why their client's wife felt that way. She scans the paper contract in Lisa's hand from the first scene she watched earlier.

 

Like most good things, though, it's over too soon. And Jisoo has a gut feeling that the memories her and Chaeyoung will soon unravel will be back to being as depressing as the other ones. She releases a defeated sigh, knowing she needs to watch all of the downfalls their patient has.

 

"welp, let's see what happens next." She shrugs and taps the _'activate memento'_. Immediately leaving this memory to unfold another one.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> stream Psycho guys : )


	8. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally made a twitter account, you could ask me questions there if you'd like. It's @divineseungwan by the way

_Lisa Manoban - 47 years old_

 

Once Jisoo opened her eyes she sees the same architecture of the lighthouse that seemed to be a significant place in Lisa's memories, or story for that matter. Jisoo still observed the place, though she'd been here quite a lot of times from the past memories. The scenery this place offers makes her dwell in the sight, and the serene feeling that drapes over her shoulders caused by the ocean breeze makes her want to stay. She somewhat understood why Jennie wanted to live here, this place is safe and sound after all, but it could hold a deeper meaning why Jennie will always choose this place, to the point she sacrificed her few years of her life for the sake of the house.

 

"Boo!" Chaeyoung's voice sprang out of nowhere, causing Jisoo to jump in surprise. The younger doctor sneaked up on her partner just for the sake of lighting up the mood. "You should've seen your face!" Chaeyoung laughs hysterically, pointing a teasing finger at Jisoo.

 

"So now you're playing pranks." Jisoo fights the growing smile on her face. Chaeyoung continues to laugh at her, the carefree and bright smile on her face makes Jisoo weak in the knees. She slowly approaches her partner mischievously with the discreet intention of tickling her, payback for what Chaeyoung had done at the beach.

 

"Hey, I know that look on your face. Stop that!" Chaeyoung raises her eyebrows knowingly, the blinding smile on her face never drifting away. She starts to take careful steps backward, preparing to run away once Jisoo decided to attack.

 

"What? I'm not doing anything." Jisoo replies, acting as if she didn't know what her partner was talking about, a shit-eating grin stuck on her face. They continued to round each other, Chaeyoung in her defense mode while Jisoo on her attack mode.

 

Then Jisoo suddenly took the first initiative, sprinting quickly to chase Chaeyoung who immediately ran away once Jisoo took a big leap.

 

They both ran around the place like children, bright and open-mouthed smiles never ceasing, eyes emitting happiness, and carefree laughs encompassed the sullen atmosphere, temporarily burying the heavy blanket of melancholy that drapes Lisa's memory. They continued to chase each other as if they didn't have a complex story to unfold and a wish to grant.

 

Jisoo then cornered Chaeyoung, the younger doctor making a mistake to run towards a tree to catch her breath. "Jisoo, I swear  I will smack you." Chaeyoung warns, her laughter still present. Jisoo didn't care about the threat, she then lunges forward her partner and started tickling her. Chaeyoung laughs hysterically once again, slapping Jisoo's wrists that were on her sides hoping she would stop, but Jisoo continued to attack her. The younger doctor eventually fell to her knees from laughing too much, then causing her to lay down on the soft soil of the earth. Jisoo hovers above her and continues to tickle her, Chaeyoung's weak from laughing out loud to even defend herself anymore.

 

Fits of laughter still present, as if the two created a whole new world for just the two of them. The two were slowly getting tired from all the laughter that came from their mouth, their stomach contracting so much that it hurt to laugh once more.

 

The laughter slowly died down and only then Jisoo realized the position they're in. She's completely hovering above Chaeyoung, her face a mere inches away from her partner, one move and her lips would touch the latter's own. She feels the blood rush through her cheeks, and she hoped she doesn't look red as a tomato as of now.

 

Chaeyoung didn't even flinch, she continues to stare at Jisoo, the smile still on her face and her eyes emitting joy that could only be seen from children. If Chaeyoung continues to look at her partner like that Jisoo would melt right here right now. The older doctor couldn't help but revel at the sight in front of her, Chaeyoung in all her glory, looking as gorgeous as ever when a scowl and a frown isn't shaped on her face.

 

And Jisoo knew she has to pull away, knew she has to let go. There are things where she's only allowed to touch, allowed to reach, and Chaeyoung isn't someone she could hold, even if every part of her is aching for the blonde.

 

She hastily pulls away, as if she got burned from Chaeyoung's touch, when in all honestly it only offered her warmth she's been longing for. She stands up and dusted off the particles of the ground that stuck to her lab coat, though there are already a couple of mud stains. She offers a hand to help Chaeyoung, which the latter gladly took to pull herself up.

 

"I felt like dying there." The younger doctor chuckles.

 

Jisoo turns her head to look at her. She gives the latter a lop-sided smile.

 

Before she could even say a comment they hear their patient's voice echoing in the air. Both of their heads whipped at the direction of the voice.

 

"Why would they abandon her like this?" Jennie's soft-spoken voice mixed with the sound of the wind. She's looking at the architecture with sunken eyes.

 

"I suppose she's no longer needed, Jen." Lisa tells her.

 

"No longer needed?" the latter croaks out, the words seemed to penetrate her chest. The idea of not being loved and needed sounded painful and Jennie didn't want this lighthouse to feel that way, after all the comfort this place had given her.

 

"By ships, I mean." Lisa explains further. "You know how it is, now that technology has advanced and all."

 

Jennie's face morphed into a downcast expression.

 

"Look, Jen," Lisa starts, fishing something out of her pocket. "this place means a lot to me, too..." she pauses for a second, holding a neatly folded paper in her hands. "you know, we've been pretty stable..." Lisa smiles nervously, seemingly having a hard time verbalizing the next words. "So I did this." Lisa gave the paper in her hands, which her wife took with curiosity.

 

Jennie's eyes started scanning the paper in her hands, it took her quite a while to finish reading the whole thing but as soon as she read the last word, which was Lisa's autograph she immediately tackled her wife in a warm embrace. "you bought the place?" she asks bewildered.

 

"I did, yeah..." Lisa chuckles, reciprocating the hug. Lisa pulls away, reaching out to hold Jennie's hand, a glimmer of hope residing in her eyes. "If we save well enough we could finally afford to build a house on top of here, _our_  dream house."

 

"I'd be able to watch her every day!" It was quite a surprise for the doctors to hear Jennie's voice overflowing of life.

 

"yes, yes, I know!" Lisa exclaims, happiness looked good on her.

 

"I'm going to name her Lyra..." Jennie smiles, staring at the lighthouse with a longing gaze.

 

"you...what?" Lisa blurts out. They noticed the hint of hesitance evident in her tone. "a-are you... sure about that?"

 

"What?! Lyra is the lighthouse?" Chaeyoung queries, sort of shocked at the revelation. Thinking it was a person who's been very significant to Lisa's story, though she did expect it will be out of the ordinary. "Why you would name a lighthouse in the first place?" She continues to question, not surprise if she never got an answer.

 

"why is she making it a big deal? it's just a name." Her partner comments, completely wondering about other questions, dismissing Chaeyoung's own.

 

"thank you, Lis." Jennie tells her sincerely. "I love you."

 

Lisa feels her heart melt at the words. "I love you too." a lovesick smile is shaped on her face.

 

"good for them..." Chaeyoung sighs. Jisoo noticed the underlying tone of yearning in her voice.

 

"This feels like watching a train wreck right before my eyes." the older doctor heaves out a heavy sigh. "knowing what happens to them..."

 

"the ending isn't any more important than any of the moments leading to it." Chaeyoung says. "the important thing is they're happy. Even just for here." her gaze fixated on the couple.

 

Chaeyoung couldn't handle this sight anymore, the feeling of bitterness somewhat brews inside of her. She averts her gaze and sets it on the main goal why she's here in the first place. She starts to walk away from the scene, stopping for a moment to call for her partner. "let's go?"

 

Jisoo snaps out of her trance, haphazardly ambling toward the younger doctor.

 

* * *

 

They walked around the cliff quietly, looking for any signs of mementos or memory links. Not bothering to speak about anything at all. Jisoo notices the complete shift of her partner's demeanor, so she stayed quiet and just continued to follow her lead. She nervously picks at the loose thread of her lab coat, afraid that Chaeyoung could erupt at any moment.

 

"So..." The older doctor awkwardly voiced out in the stillness, her voice strained and nervous. Capturing Chaeyoung's attention resulting for the younger doctor to look at her.

 

"How are you and Chanyeol? You know, the boy toy you have..." she queries, cringing at herself for the poor choice of words, or the poor choice of topic caused by her uneasiness. She had always been this panicky and awkward when it comes to starting conversations ever since. It even traces through her childhood days, resulting with no friends and being a loner growing up.

 

Chaeyoung raises an eyebrow at her partner's direction, slightly offended at the word she used to describe her boyfriend. But Jisoo did hit the nail on the head somehow, though. Chanyeol is her boyfriend but he sure doesn't feel like it, he's just there when he wants to be and if he wants to feel temporary bliss with Chaeyoung. He wasn't really there when she needed comfort or assurance whenever insecurity eats her. He wasn't there when Chaeyoung needed him the most. And she should feel angry but if it's all she'll ever get, she'd gladly take it. He's her first love after all.

 

"Why do you care?" The younger doctor asks defensively. "quit the acting, it doesn't fit you." her voice sounding bitter all of a sudden.

 

Jisoo scoffs, the bite in her partner voice stings, "why do you do always do that?"

 

"Do what exactly?"

 

"Paint me as some kind of villain." Jisoo replies, hurt evident in her voice. Chaeyoung feels guilty but she kept her stoic face on. "I may be an asshole most of the time but I do know how to care, Chaeyoung."

 

Then silence.

 

The blonde takes a deep breath and releases it. "It's fine with him..." Chaeyoung answers flatly.

 

"Describe 'fine'," Jisoo continues, voice softening.

 

"I mean, he still comes home to me. We go on dates here and there. Go on outside-of-the-country trips." Chaeyoung pauses for a few seconds, thinking of the other mundane things they do. "We do _it_ if there's time."

 

"What do you do?" Jisoo asks, confusion written on her face.

 

" _It."_ Chaeyoung shrugs as if it's a clear message.

 

" _It_ what?" Jisoo pushes further, still not connecting the dots.

 

" _It."_ Chaeyoung reiterates, emphasizing her point more.

 

"Hng?" Jisoo squints her eyes as if it'll make the words clearer for her to perceive.

 

"Oh for fuck's sake," Chaeyoung rolls her eyes annoyingly. "Sex, Jisoo." She replies not missing a beat.

 

"Oh..." Jisoo immediately became silent. She grimaces at the thought.

 

"I'd like to think we're doing fine," Chaeyoung states, going back to the main point. "He buys me stuff and clearly provides a lot. Like _a lot."_ Her eyes bulging out of their sockets as she emphasized the last word. "A lot... that we don't— _I_ don't really need. But I'm thankful for it nevertheless."

 

"But..." her voice starts to falter. Hesitating to share what she feels, what she  _really_ feels about her and Chanyeol's relationship. She's never been open about what goes on with the two of them, not even to a few close friends she has, and sharing something that personal especially with Jisoo is just... bizarre. But here she is, walls slowly cracking as she sees the concern in Jisoo's gaze, which brings comfort somehow.

 

"But?" Jisoo tries to pry, her tone soothing and comforting.

 

"But... sometimes I feel like I want more than that." Chaeyoung gives in.

 

"More than  _it?_ " Jisoo dumbly asks. Which the latter found quite adorable, lightening up the tense mood for just a brief moment. Chaeyoung can't help but pinch her nose.

 

"Ow!" Jisoo yelps, lightly smacking the blonde.

 

Chaeyoung chuckles. But she breathes in deeply, feeling small all of a sudden as she remembers the topic of their conversation. "More than money, dingus." she chuckles lightly. The nickname rolling off her tongue good-naturedly.

 

"The feeling money can't buy." she continues.

 

"He makes you feel that way?" Jisoo carefully asks.

 

"Urgh, I should stop." Chaeyoung quickly backtracks, refusing to taint the way she used to see their relationship, all perfect and fine and stable, though it was far from it. "I shouldn't be complaining. He still does his best, and maybe I'm being too greedy." she rambles, shaking her head hoping those thoughts would fly out of her mind. She walks a little bit faster now, leaving Jisoo a few meters behind.

 

Jisoo stays silent. Watching Chaeyoung's back with downcast eyes. It's the most revealing thing Chaeyoung ever shared with her, and that girl sure had some of the weirdest stories she shared with Jisoo during their deep conversations, it's surprising they even had those despite them having a cat-and-dog relationship, always at each other's throat, ready to tear the other to shreds.

 

In a somewhat prosaic way, Chaeyoung smelled of home.  _Felt_  like home, perhaps.

 

She was the only person who stayed, even if the ugly and stoic side of Jisoo was all she's ever known about her partner. She stayed despite the petty arguments, the vast differences, and especially the time where Jisoo felt weak and vulnerable, the time where she let herself feel those feelings she vowed to never feel again once she moved out of that childhood hometown she never wanted to remember but somehow engraved in her heart. Jisoo wished she could voice all those thoughts and gratitude more often, vocally letting Chaeyoung know how she was important to her, without Jisoo worrying all the damn time. Without the walls she built restraining her.

 

And at this moment she wished she could tell the girl that she deserved something better than what she's facing right now. She wished she could tell Chaeyoung that it's okay to want something else. Want something that would bring genuine joy.

 

And Jisoo wished she was brave enough to tell her that she wanted to be the person to do that for her.

 

Chaeyoung didn't want to leave Jisoo behind, but she didn't want the latter to see her in that kind of state. That state where she feels helpless but couldn't do anything about it.

 

She already had a future planned out in her mind, a future that involves Chanyeol. She envisioned a house, not a mansion (which something Chanyeol could easily buy with the snap of his fingers), just a house that's the right size for them. About three kids, yeah, that'd be enough. And a golden retriever dog that would run around and play with their kids in their yard that Chaeyoung took the time to polish and decorate.

 

But she slowly realized that that wasn't it, that wasn't something she fully wanted. She hated to admit that she wasn't in love with him, but she was in love with the idea of him, and the future she foolishly already produced.

 

She was a girl afraid of change. Afraid of how the course of her life will flow if she ever does something that's out of the picture. She wants things to stay just as they are for a long time, or forever perhaps. She, herself, was a hindrance, a restraint, that keeps her from exploring unfamiliar territories, unfamiliar feelings.

 

Growing up, change was the only thing she'd ever known. Change was a constant. Her father was part of the air force, always being transferred to different parts of the country, or being transferred to another country. And without a choice, she needed to go wherever he is. Following his lead like she and her mother were dogs in a leash. They moved a lot that she could barely remember the faces of her brief friends (barely remembered if she had friends at all) and her favorite places that became a decaying memory in her brain. She never got the chance to adapt, unable to find a place where she feels comfortable enough, a place where she felt she truly belonged. Before she could even adjust in a place, they needed to transfer to another. So, when she finished high school she immediately left home, or whatever that place was (the feeling of home is completely unknown to her.), and moved to Seoul—where she was born, and had early memories—to go to college.

 

And for the first time, she finally got a say when change will come.

 

Then in her second year in college, she meets Chanyeol, the ever-so-charming boy on the campus, capturing girls' hearts here and there. She knew he was a chaebol, a boy from a well-off family, buying everything he could ever want. Like brand new cars, branded clothes, grades, friends, girls (maybe she's one of that too).

 

She didn't like him at first, she never really understood the hype the girls in her batch had for him. So, when he first asked her out he got rejected but still continued. He started giving her lavish things, and every time he sends her gifts the people would look at her like she grew another head, mouth agape and eyes popping out of their sockets. And she would hear her name around the campus, hearing people's gossips about how she was so lucky to have a guy like him.

 

They say he could give her the world if she wanted.

 

And Chaeyoung felt like she owed him,  _a lot._ So _,_ she finally gave him that sweet yes he's been working hard for, or buying for, for that matter (the latter sounded more realistic). And years from now they're still somewhat together. Which was both a relief and a surprising thing.

 

He didn't expect a guy like him would stay with someone like her. He literally could have every girl he'd want, with the face of his, the money, and the power he has. But he stayed, he stayed for her. He stayed despite being absent for a handful of times. But somehow it makes her feel validated and appreciated, and Chaeyoung felt that she owes him again.

 

And he became essential in her life. He stuck for a long time that Chaeyoung couldn't think of anyone else, refused to think of anyone else. Being with him sufficed the flow of her life. Being with him is enough, supposed to be enough. She had no right to complain and ask for more, he's been giving her more and more, even if it isn't something she wanted, or needed.

 

Change became a distant friend, until one day she realized what she truly felt. And if she ever followed what her heart desired she needed to take a new path and start all over again. And she'd rather dwell on mundane feelings than experience a massive change that will alter her life big time.

 

It had been good, being with him and the flow of her life currently.  _Things had always been good,_ she says to herself, willing to believe her own words are true to its very core. But there's this part of her, a small suppressed part of her, that knows it's very far from the truth.

 

Things had been good, and it was. Perhaps, at least for a little while.

 

 _Nothing as good as it seems,_ Chaeyoung mused to herself while she navigated her way through the relentless puzzle that is Lisa's life, tasting the bitter truth laced in the words that came from herself. The thought saddens her, not only because she's now sensing the truth in it but also the fact that she never, ever, thought herself as a cynical person. She had always tried to see the silver linings even if there's seemingly wasn't one. She isn't shallow per se, she knew the injustices the world offers to people, especially to minorities, she isn't the type of person to overlook things. She just refused to submit and wallow in the cruelness of reality.

 

The moment she stepped into college, she vowed to let go of the grudges and the frustration she had with herself, with change, with her father—most especially from her father— to start anew. She was considered a breath of fresh air, a girl with a bright soul, a girl known to possess one of the loveliest pliable smile in the campus.

 

Chaeyoung isn't cynical—never had been, never will be— but she can't ignore the loneliness cradling her, resentment churning in her guts, and the fact that she's realizing that she's bitter. She's so fucking bitter, that it seeps into her skin and rushes in her veins, she's so bitter that the silver linings were becoming a blur until she couldn't see them anymore.

 

And that was something she couldn't, wouldn't, bear with.

 

"hey, Chaeng, wait up!" Jisoo scurries off to chase her. "Jesus, I know you have long legs and I don't, but you don't have to remind me that I'm a gnome next to you."

 

Then Jisoo, the ever-so annoying and arrogant Jisoo, was put in her life by force. She remembered it clearly, it was three years ago, she just got accepted at the company she worked her ass off to get in. Repeating the test and the job interviews quite a few times, and after her fifth attempt, she finally scored the goal and was assigned to an office and a partner the very next day. She remembered being excited that day, knowing she got in a really big and well-known company that contributed one of the most compelling inventions in science. This might be the step that would get her out of the shadows of her insanely wealthy boyfriend. She could finally create a legacy and a name for herself, without Chanyeol interfering. She knew that in this job you needed a partner, this job was never easy and having two brains working together in a mission is always better than one. But unfortunately, she got partnered up with a megaphone overflowing with sarcasm, who's brain worked in a way that she finds so uncanny yet had logic.

 

Their first meeting wasn't anything near decent at all. Insult and threats were already thrown out in their office. And that will continue for more years to come. The dynamic didn't really go well right from the start. But amidst of her partner's badmouth and hard-ass exterior, she did had someone she could talk with about anything at all. She had someone that really listened, despite the sarcastic comments that came out of her mouth. Someone that could make her laugh loudly and hysterically, almost looking like a maniac in the process. Someone she could have petty bickering with when she got bored. Someone to have weird and deep conversations with, despite keeping both of their stories locked up in the farthest shelf. Someone she could connect with, despite the vast difference they have with each other. She didn't have that with her boyfriend at all, or with anyone for that matter. She did have close friends but she'd rather drink bleach and let the liquid burn her throat than share her vulnerability.

 

Jisoo's not supposed to make her feel this way.

 

Or to make her feel anything at all, other than job-related feelings.

 

She snaps out of her trance when a time overlap happened. It took her a moment to realize she was almost out of the woods that leads to the cliff. She sees the familiar rail of steel and the lonely road that leads to nowhere. A car then appeared, parked on the entrance of the quiet location. She sees Lisa get out of the car, closing the door gently, then scurrying off to the other door to assist her wife. She sees their memento flickering inside of the vehicle, it was hanging on the rearview mirror. It seemed like small shoes, shoes that could fit an infant, the pair dangling steadily.

 

"Chaeng," Jisoo finally got to catch up with her, holding the tablet in her hands. Wanting to show something to the younger doctor. "gee, learn how to slow down." she says, panting slightly.

 

"here, I was going to show you something." Jisoo offers Chaeyoung a glimpse of the device in her hands. "I don't know why but we don't need memory links for this memory. The significant thing about this memory is the conversation the couple had earlier." she explains, her finger hovering at the screen. "now we just need a memento to hop on."

 

"that's great." Chaeyoung nods her head. "that could save us a lot of time." Her voice was flat and plain. Her mind still caught up in that trance she was in earlier.

 

"I already found the memento though." Chaeyoung informs her partner. "it's in the car." she says pointing at the lone vehicle.

 

Jisoo walks toward the car, trying to find any signs of flickering. "where?"  she asks, scrutinizing the vehicle.

 

"the baby shoes hanging on the rearview mirror." Chaeyoung points out, walking beside her partner.

 

"oh, got it." Jisoo says, already scanning the object from the transparent screen of the car.

 

They immediately proceeded to the next chapter of their patient's life. Leaving whatever outburst of confined feelings that happened earlier.

 

_Lisa Manoban - 45 years old_

_baby shoes for sale, never_ _worn_

 

The first thing the two doctors see as soon as they got to the next memory is a note beside the baby shoes. The footwear is situated on top of a shelf, besides it were stacks of books and a couple of mugs with cute designs on it. The couple were having a yard sale, there were probably things they didn't need anymore, or they may need some extra money for some reason.

 

Jisoo raises a questioning eyebrow at the note after she read it.

 

"This seems cute." A voice of a woman rang in Chaeyoung's ears. A feminine figure walked toward the baby shoes, grabbing it from the shelf to look at it, adoration written on her face.

 

They see their patient approach the woman with a friendly smile on her face, the typical mandatory smile that workers have specifically and especially for customers. Chaeyoung knows how tiring it is to keep that facade in front of people just for the job.

 

"Hello, how may I help you?" Lisa asks kindly. Jennie trailing beside her, she quietly watches the conversation between her wife and the buyer with the same polite smile Lisa has.

 

"how much for this?" the woman asked, showing the shoes to the couple. Chaeyoung sees how Lisa's face softens at the sight of the object in the woman's hand. However, Jennie is still quiet as ever, there was something residing in her eyes, something that looked like longing and sadness, the two common emotions that recently resided in Jennie's eyes from the previous memory. Chaeyoung noticed, though Jennie didn't speak a lot based on Lisa's memories,  her eyes held so much meaning, so much emotions, that words aren't a requirement to know how the woman was feeling. And Chaeyoung thought that was something beautiful, for your eyes to speak for you.

 

"it's just 1,400 Won," Lisa replies. And the woman smiles again, showing her perfect white pearls, it looked so genuine.

 

"I'll take it!" the woman says excitedly, pulling out her wallet out of her bag. Giving Lisa the required amount of money. "my little girl would look so cute and adorable in it. Thank you!" she says one last time then a bow comes after.

 

"Please, don't." Jennie blurts out. "I-I... changed my mind. They're not for sale anymore..." she says perplexedly, it took her a while to verbalize the words, this usually happens when she's in an uneasy state. She takes the shoes from the woman's grasp and leaves Lisa and the buyer behind, trailing off toward the house. The unknown woman was startled at the sudden action.

 

"oh, I'm sorry for that..." Lisa apologizes sincerely, scratching the nape of her neck. "the shoes were a valuable thing to her, and she told me it was okay to sell it but she sometimes changes her mind the last minute."

 

"it's okay." The woman sincerely assures her.

 

"here," Lisa returns the money. "maybe you could find other things in our yard sale."

 

"sure," the woman nods her head and trails off to find something that would peek her attention.

 

Lisa bowed her head and apologized again, but the lady waved a dismissing hand saying it was alright.

 

Then the scene repeated itself again, implying that the loop of the scene already ended, and is now going back to its starting point. The two doctors turn their heads to each other, giving a questioning glance to the other. Jisoo could only shrug, for she doesn't have a goddamn clue what's the reason, while Chaeyoung could only sigh for the umpteenth time today.

 

"You know finding out that Lyra is the lighthouse and Jennie refusing treatment because of it, then the scene that just happened earlier, I mean I've seen stranger things in the course of this job, but isn't it like a little bit extreme for her to, you know, act that way." Chaeyoung wonders aloud.

 

"Me too... it's hard to wrap my head around at everything that's happened." Jisoo replies. "It's not our business anyway, though. She's not our patient."

 

"you're right..."

 

"do you want to find any memory links, or the memento right now?" the older doctor questions.

 

"can we... watch every time overlaps first?" Chaeyoung says.

 

"then we should head to the house then." Jisoo directed her gaze at the domestic house where Lisa used to live in.

 

* * *

 

The doctor stepped inside the humble abode of the couple. They noticed the sun just rising from the horizon at the window, this scene probably happened first in this memory.

 

"you know, I admit this house is really cozy. I like it better than the other one." Chaeyoung shares her opinion, knowing Jisoo listens to her often.

 

"yeah, the recent house has a sad vibe." Jisoo replies. The raven-haired girl walked around, scrutinizing every object hoping it's a memory link or a memento.

 

"Wow!" Chaeyoung hears Jisoo gasp. She looks at her partner's line of sight and saw a lot of Lego architectures displayed on a long table on the side of the room. 

 

"This is so fucking cool." she hears Jisoo mumble excitedly to herself, quickly ambling towards it. She looks at the different models of architecture with adoration. 

 

"You like Legos that much?" Chaeyoung asks.

 

"I used to. I loved them when I was a kid. I used to build models with my grandpa." Jisoo shares, gaze still fixated at the models. "This might be Jennie's, right? I mean, she was an architect after all." 

 

"Yeah, it's probably hers." the younger doctor replies. "they probably sold this for their yard sale later on. We never saw this at the previous memories."  she concludes, Jisoo hums in agreement

 

They heard footsteps coming from the stairs, which their heads instantly turned to, seeing Lisa holding a yellow origami rabbit in her hands with a confused expression on her face. "Jennie..." she calls for her wife's name. Eyes never leaving the origami she's holding.

 

They walked further in the house, leaving the enthralling Lego models behind and following their patient's figure. They find themselves in the living room, seeing Lisa's back turned to them, their patient was facing her wife sitting on their comfortable sofa, she was making another origami despite having the same dozen of origami figure on the coffee table.

 

"Did you see the rabbit I left for you in our room?" Jennie asks, stopping herself from folding origami rabbits.

 

"Is this it?" Lisa asks, still confused. Showing Jennie what she's holding, her wife only gave her a small smile as a response.

 

"tell me about it." she demanded softly. Looking at Lisa with hopeful eyes. "describe it."

 

"uh..." Lisa prolongs, scrutinizing the object in her hand, trying to find if there's any small detail she missed. "It's obviously yellow..." she starts.

 

"and puffy..." she adds on. "and it's made of paper." Lisa continues to analyze the animal in her hand.

 

"and?" Jennie pries.

 

"I... I don't know how else to describe it, Jen." Lisa releases a sigh, scratching the nape of her neck. She knows there's another answer Jennie is searching for but she doesn't have any idea what it was.

 

Jennie slumps her shoulders, disappointment evident in her posture. She continues folding the paper in her hands once again.

 

"Deja vu I have been in this place before." Jisoo singsongs, remembering the meme she watched yesterday. Chaeyoung could only roll her eyes at the song, hating how she knows what meme Jisoo implied, the meme was all over Twitter.

 

"You're acting strange, Jen." Lisa comments, careful with her words. "is there something wrong?"

 

Jennie only ignores her and continues what she's doing.

 

"Jennie..." Lisa tries again but her wife didn't even budge.

 

"I think I have an idea about her condition, but it's rather odd even for that," Jisoo tells her partner, somehow connecting the dots why Jennie acts that way and why Jennie is the way she is. "I actually have a nephew who has autism. There are times where her actions remind me of my nephew."

 

"do you think she's...?" Chaeyoung carefully asks.

 

"do you?" Jisoo reiterates what her partner said.

 

"Perhaps?" the latter answers, not really sure. "I mean, autism has different spectrums. Who knows? Just like what you said earlier, she's not our client."

 

"yeah... we should get it over with." Chaeyoung mumbles.

 

The two doctors started to find any signs of memory links or the memento inside the living room but Jennie's quiet and soothing voice encompassed the atmosphere, Jennie immediately catching their attention.

 

"If for some reason I lost my memory," Jennie starts. "what would be the first thing you'd tell me about us?" Jennie fixates her soft eyes at her wife, who was now sitting beside her.

 

Lisa was startled at the question but a small smile tugs at her lips. Random thoughts seemed to always find its way inside Jennie's head, no matter how weird it may be Lisa would gladly answer it the best she can. "that's a sad question." she chuckles lightly, Jennie continues to stare at her with those captivating orbs which Lisa had always found so pretty.

 

"hmm..." Lisa hums, thinking of a hundred things to say to her wife _if_ she ever loses her memory. "First of all, I'd tell you that you married the best person." Lisa says cockily, earning an eye roll from Jennie. Their patient laughs at the reaction she received.

 

"sounds like something you'd say." Chaeyoung nudges her partner. A teasing smile etched on her face. Jisoo only shakes her head at that, a giggle escaping her lips. Most of the time the older doctor would frown at statements like this from her partner, but this time she has that stupid cute smile on her face that isn't usually there when she says those things. Chaeyoung gets a pass for looking pretty, though she does always look pretty, but this one's different since she has that smile on her face. Yeah, Jisoo's in fucking deep.

 

"But on a serious note, I have to tell you everything. Like  _everything_." Lisa exaggerates the last word, Jennie lightly laughs at her wife's expression, Lisa's eyes are wide and bulging while her eyebrows are raised it almost looked like it could reach the top of her forehead.

 

"There's so much you would need to know. You know, I'd show pictures of you, the few and old pictures of you, which is not a lot so it would take a lot of convincing," Lisa tells her wife. "I have to show you videos too, like the significant videos in our lives. Though one of your ticks is a camera directed at you, the videos have your voice in it, so, that's evidence." Jennie continues to listen, same as the doctors that they couldn't see.

 

"And... I would give you a choice. Like I always do." Lisa sadly smiles. Resting her hand on Jennie's own. Her wife immediately laces their fingers together. The sight warms the doctors' hearts. " because I know you're not the same person anymore. That's your past, if that situation ever happens."

 

"If you want to stay, I would love that. I really would love that." Lisa smiles cheekily, Jennie stares at her wife with stardust in her eyes. "But if you don't, or if you need time... you can have that. I'd let you go."

 

"But regardless of what you choose... I want you to know that I love you. For a lifetime, or maybe forever, if that's even possible." Lisa tells Jennie sincerely, heart on her sleeve.

 

"are you crying?" Chaeyoung diverts her gaze at the other doctor beside her, hearing sniffling beside her.

 

"what?" Jisoo snaps out of her trance, forgetting that she's not the only one watching this scene. She quickly wipes the liquid trailing down her cheeks. "that's my saliva." she dismisses the question as fast as possible before Chaeyoung could even reply. "now let's go find the shit we need to find." she changes the topic quickly, not wanting the attention solely on her.

 

Chaeyoung mouths an _"okay"_   and starts to do what is needed to be done. Not bothering to pry Jisoo anymore. She'll only get sarcastic remarks from her anyway, Jisoo never really liked it when someone catches her crying.

 

* * *

 

After finding everything, both of the doctors decided to sit down on the porch to take a breather. It has been tiring, not only because of finding the mementos and memory links, but also having a handful of questions boggling their minds is pretty exhausting.

 

Once again the silence welcomed itself in their surroundings.

 

"About what happened earlier..." Jisoo gathers the courage to speak into the stillness. "You wanna hear the tragedy of my love life? If it helps you feel better." She offers whole-heartedly, a nervous chuckle coming out from her lips.

 

"Is it okay?" Chaeyoung asks for assurance, knowing how well guarded the other doctor is.

 

"Well..." Jisoo starts, digging up that rotting memory to life. "We were alright, I guess. Well, that's what I thought." She shrugs, her eyes darting anywhere but her partner's gaze.

 

"Her name was," Jisoo paused, trying to spit out the name that hadn't sat on her tongue for the past years. "Her name was Mina." The bittersweet taste of her name is still the same even if a couple of years had already passed.

 

Chaeyoung notices that flicker of smile on Jisoo's face. A lovesick and longing smile. A sight she hasn't ever seen before.

 

"She was a batchmate of mine in college. She's a ballerina, a great one, she majored in performing arts while I majored in computer science." Jisoo's surprised her voice hasn't even cracked even once.

 

"We shared a few classes but haven't really had a proper conversation. I always found her pretty, and really wanted to ask her out but I never had the guts, you know?" Chaeyoung tries to picture her partner as a nervous and panicked mess toward a girl she likes. And she has a hard time imagining it, because it seemed so unrealistic knowing how Jisoo acts.

 

"Then I saw her perform and I was so amazed. And I urged myself to muster all the courage to ask her out." Jisoo continues, Chaeyoung having no intention of interfering her. She wanted to ask questions but she'd keep them for later. "Then she said yes, oh my god, she said yes." She tells Chaeyoung animatedly, as if Mina had agreed to go out with her earlier, like that moment didn't happened a couple of years ago.

 

And Chaeyoung feels soft for this side of her partner- the lovesick and foolish side of Jisoo. She notices how the feeling of love affects the raven-haired woman and it was a sight not to miss, knowing how rare it is for her partner to open up like this.

 

"And on our first date, we went ice skating. It was her idea, not mine. Skating wasn't my forte." She clarified, making Chaeyoung giggle. "I remember her already skating so effortlessly and gracefully as if it was such a normal thing for her, while I'm stuck on the railings holding on for my dear life as I tried to get close to her." Jisoo laughs at the memory, one of the memories she treasures the most.

 

Chaeyoung can't help but feel her heart swell. Perfectly imagining Jisoo screaming and screeching for her life just for the sake of making the girl she likes have fun. Totally sacrificing her dignity.

 

"But she helped me, though. She held my hand, and slowly but surely she helped me get on my feet. It went well, though. The date, I mean." Her tone dripping with saccharine. "She agreed to be my girlfriend on our tenth date. It took that long to finally swoop her heart."

 

"It went well... us, I mean." She rambles, mixing the words in her mouth. A small smile seemed permanent in Chaeyoung's face, taking in and admiring this side of the older doctor.

 

"It was going smooth until it wasn't anymore." There's a sudden change of tone in Jisoo's lively voice.

 

"I was never really good at relationships. Like any type of relationship." Chaeyoung frowns at that. Why would she think that way? She tells the story with so much wonder, and if Chaeyoung hadn't known any better she would think Jisoo had always been that affectionate. And anyone that would leave her would regret that decision.

 

"I never had friends growing up. Like, I've always been socially awkward, not knowing how to blend with people." She breathes in deeply then releases it. "I calculated every move I was going to make. I calculated feelings, words, actions, thoughts, everything!" Jisoo frustratedly voiced out. Flailing her arms in the air, that painful reminder being shoved in her face again. But now she's ready to admit her wrongs. She's ready to accept them and slowly grow from them. Not wanting to repeat the same mistake again.

 

"There wasn't a book for dummies for relationships, you know?" She jokes, trying to light up the mood. "Cause if there is, I would've bought all the volume." Chaeyoung laughs at that.

 

"Until it got to the point where we barely even interacted anymore, the affection, the joy, the sincerity, the feelings..." her voice trails off at the last word. "They just flew out of the window."

 

"I was so restrained from my own self. I was too busy trying to be the perfect partner, to the point where it felt like I was acting, like I was forced to fulfill that role."

 

"Mina thought I didn't felt the same way anymore, since she noticed the big difference in the way I acted, she thought the only reason I held on is that I didn't want to hurt her, believing my feelings weren't there anymore. Which was far from the truth. My feelings for her never changed." Jisoo kicks a pebble in front of her absentmindedly. "I loved her, I still do... but not the same way than before. I love her as a friend now." 

 

"Then..." she feels her voice cracking. "She had to leave to go to Japan. She got accepted at a prestigious ballet school there. And she took that opportunity to break it off with me."

 

"I let her break my heart. I deserved it. I broke hers first, she had every right to do the same with mine. But I think the way I broke hers was such an asshole thing to do. The way she broke mine wasn't even the same level as what I did. She didn't want to leave at first, she wanted to stay, for me. To fix what we have." Chaeyoung lets her hand rest on top of Jisoo's, offering some sort of comfort. Jisoo smiles at that gesture. "I never deserved her, so I let go. I let her go."

 

"I didn't deserve her, I know, but that doesn't mean it would hurt less. I loved her, though, maybe a little too much. I just didn't know how to vocalize that." She says, her gaze fixated at the distance.

 

"It's hard being a hindrance to yourself." Jisoo's words sharply pierced right through Chaeyoung.

 

"And before I got accepted in Sigmund, she had a show here in Seoul. The ticket was expensive as hell, I was just only rising from my bills at that time. But I knew that I needed to buy that damn ticket. I always wanted to see her perform in big and prestigious stages. Ever since the first time I saw her perform, I knew she's meant to do that." Chaeyoung feels a lump aching in the back of her throat.

 

"We saw each other one last time after the show. I said my apologies that I should've said way before. She said it was fine, she forgave me a long time ago, she already moved on from that and already found someone. It was heart-wrenching to hear that, I haven't moved on from her that time, but after that last meeting I vowed to do the same as hers." Jisoo finished. Shrugging nonchalantly as if telling that story didn't feel like a double-edged sword piercing in her chest.

 

Chaeyoung fell silent.

 

Jisoo lightly nudged her. "You alright? You look sadder than me. You look like you were the one who told the story." Jisoo laughs it off.

 

"Don't dwell in too much, Chaeng." Jisoo gives her a comforting squeeze. It only took her a couple of seconds to muster and pull herself together, and yet to Chaeyoung it felt like years that passed by. "We should move forward." It seemed like an age, and perhaps it was. For when Jisoo spoke again, she sounded different—wearier, wiser, worn thin by the years.

 

Chaeyoung's not sure if she's implying about their job or something else.

 

**Author's Note:**

> This is gonna be a long journey...
> 
> This isn't the usual one-shots I write : )


End file.
